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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: Barney who wrote (25980)12/28/2002 12:45:10 PM
From: GROUND ZERO™  Read Replies (2) | Respond to of 62592
 
'Twas the Month after Chanukah

'Twas the month after Chanukah, and all through the house
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
The cookies I'd nibble, the latkas I'd taste
At Chanukah parties had gone to my waist.

When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).
I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared;
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,

The wine or the egg creams, the bread and the cheese
and the way I'd never said, "No thank you, please."
As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt
and prepared once again to do battle with dirt---

I said to myself, as only I can
"You can't spend the winter disguised as a man!"
So--away with the last of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of all chocolate, each cracker and chip

Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
'Til all the additional ounces have vanished.
I won't have a cookie--not even a lick.
I'll want to chew only a long celery stick.

I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.
I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore---
But isn't that what January is for?

Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!

GZ



To: Barney who wrote (25980)12/28/2002 6:17:22 PM
From: William H Huebl  Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 62592
 
As Ellen D says: "Isn't it amazing that we only use 10% of our brain power??? Just think what it would be like if we could only use that other 60%???"



To: Barney who wrote (25980)12/31/2002 3:37:16 PM
From: farkarooski  Respond to of 62592
 
<<You only have one ass. >>

but how many dicks are there !!!