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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Tomato who wrote (26019)	12/30/2002 8:51:56 AM
From: Doug Coughlan	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62572

The top ten reasons why God created Eve: 10. God worried that Adam would be lost in the Garden of Eden because he wouldn't ask for directions. 9. God knew that someday Adam would need someone to hand him the TV remote. (Parenthetically, it has been noted that men don't want to see what's ON TV; they want to see WHAT ELSE is on.) 8. God knew that Adam would never make a doctor's appointment. 7. God knew that when Adam's fig leaf wore out, he would never buy a new one for himself. 6. God knew that Adam would not remember to take out the garbage. 5. God wanted man to be fruitful and multiply, but he knew Adam would never be able to handle labor pains and childbirth. 4. As "keeper of the garden," Adam would need help in finding his tools. 3. Adam needed someone to blame for the Apple Incident, and for anything else that was really his fault. 2. As the Bible says: "It is not good for man to be alone." 1. And the No. 1 reason of all [Tada, drum roll, fanfare, etc.] God stepped back, looked at Adam, and declared: "I can do better than that."

To: Tomato who wrote (26019)	12/30/2002 4:16:15 PM
From: Tomato	Respond to of 62572

Excerpts from Zen Judaism by David Bader: To know the Buddha is the highest attainment. Second highest is to go to the same doctor as the Buddha. Be here now. Be someplace else later. Is that so complicated? There is no escaping Karma. In a previous life, you never called, you never wrote, you never visited. And whose fault was that? If there is no self, whose arthritis is this? Be patient and achieve all things. Be impatient and achieve all things faster. "If you meet the Buddha on the path, show him the photos of the grandchildren." "Those who know do not kibbitz. Those that kibbitz do not know." "In nature there is no good or bad, better or worse. The wind may blow or not. The flowering branch grows long or short. Do not judge or prefer. Ask only, 'is it good for the Jews?'"