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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: RMP who wrote (26144)	1/9/2003 5:49:35 AM
From: Doug Coughlan	Respond to of 62549

HOW TO WASH THE CAT 1. Thoroughly clean the toilet. 2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water and have both lids up. 3. Find the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom. 4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids. (You may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape.) The cat will self-agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from your toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this. CAUTION: Do not get any part of your body too close to the edge, as his paws will be reaching out for anything they can find. 5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power wash" and "rinse", which I have found to be quite effective. 6. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door. 7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids. 8. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet, and run outside where he will air dry himself. Sincerely, The Dog

To: RMP who wrote (26144)	1/9/2003 4:06:31 PM
From: RMP	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

Two alligators are sitting on the edge of a swamp. The small one turns to the big one and says; I don't understand how you can be so much bigger than me.We're the same age, we were the same size as kids... I just don't get it." "Well," says the big alligator, "what have you been eating?" "Lawyers,same as you," replies the small alligator. "Hm. Well, where do you catch'em?" "Down at that law firm on the edge of the swamp." "Same here.Huuum.How do you catch'em?" "Well, I crawl under a BMW and wait for someone to unlock the door. Then I jump out, bite'em, shake the shit out of 'em, and eat'em!" "Ah!" says the big alligator, "I think I see your problem. See, by the time you get done shakin' the shit out of a lawyer, there's nothing'left but lips and a briefcase