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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: JHP who wrote (26822)	2/24/2003 12:26:32 PM
From: Karen Lawrence	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

am sure all the women will agree the first list is perfect . NEW EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN!!! Starting this month! Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty of their contents, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants each. Topic 1. How to fill ice-cube trays. Step by step with slide presentation. Topic 2. Lavatory paper rolls: do they grow on the holders? Round-table discussion. Topic 3: Differences between the laundry basket and the floor. Pictures and explanatory graphics. Topic 4. The after-dinner dishes and silverware: can they levitate and fly into the kitchen sink? Examples on video. Topic 5. Loss of identity: losing the remote to your significant other. Helpline and support groups. Topic 6. Learning how to find things, starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming. Open forum. Topic 7. Health watch: bringing her flowers is not harmful to your health. Graphics and audio tape. Topic 8. Real men ask for directions when lost.. Real-life testimonials. Topic 9. Is it genetically impossible to sit quietly as she parallel parks? Driving simulation. Topic 10. Learning to live: basic differences between mother and wife. Online class and role playing. Topic 11. How to be the ideal shopping companion. Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques.

To: JHP who wrote (26822)	2/24/2003 9:58:00 PM
From: ManyMoose	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

Good Gawd! Are those real? profiles.yahoo.com.

To: JHP who wrote (26822)	2/24/2003 10:00:00 PM
From: ManyMoose	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

Mastercard Wedding: You gotta love this guy..... This is a true story about a recent wedding that took place at Clemson University. It was in the local newspaper and even Jay Leno mentioned it. It was a huge wedding with about 300 guests. After the wedding at the reception, the groom got up on stage with a microphone to talk to the crowd. He said he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them at their wedding. He especially wanted to thank the bride's and his family and to thank his new father-in-law for providing such a lavish reception. As a token of his deep appreciation he said he wanted to give everyone a special gift just from him. So taped to the bottom of everyone's chair, including the wedding party, was a manila envelope. He said this was his gift to everyone, and asked them to open their envelope. Inside each manila envelope was an 8x10 glossy of his bride having sex with the best man. The groom had gotten suspicious of them weeks earlier and had hired a private detective to tail them. After just standing there, just watching the guests' reactions for a couple of minutes, he turned to the best man and said, "F--- you!". Then he turned to his bride and said, "F--- you!". Then he turned to the dumbfounded crowd and said, "I'm outta here." He had the marriage annulled first thing in the morning. While most people would have canceled the wedding immediately after finding out about the affair, this guy goes through with the charade, as if nothing were wrong. His revenge...making the bride's parents pay over $32,000 for a 300 guest wedding and reception, and best of all, trashing the bride's and best man's reputations in front of 300 friends and family members. This guy has balls the size of church bells. Do you think we might get a MasterCard "priceless" commercial out of this? Elegant wedding reception for 300 family members and friends......................................$32,000. Wedding photographs commemorating the occasion..........................................$3,000. Deluxe two week honeymoon accommodations in Maui..............................................$8,500. The look on everyone's face when they see the 8x10 glossy of the bride humping the best man..........Priceless. There are some things money can't buy, for everything else there's MASTERCARD.