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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: The Philosopher who wrote (26824)	2/24/2003 6:10:20 PM
From: ild	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

>Parable Number 1: >A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. >A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, >"Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long? >The crow answered: "Sure, why not." >So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. >All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it. > >Management Lesson: >To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high >up. > >Parable Number 2: >A turkey was chatting with a bull. >"I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed >the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy. "Well, why don't you >nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed >with >nutrients." >The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave >him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. >The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second >branch. >Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the >top of the tree. Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the >turkey out of the tree. > >Management Lesson: >Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there. > >Parable Number 3: >A little bird was flying south for the winter. >It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large >field. >While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. >As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to >realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He >lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. >A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. >Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of >cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him! > >Management Lesson: >1) Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy. >2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend. >3) And when you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut! > >Parable Number 4: >The boy rode on the donkey and the old man walked. >As they went along, they passed some people who remarked "it was a >shame the old man was walking and the boy was riding". >The man and boy thought maybe the critics were right, so they >changed positions. Later, they passed some people that remarked, >"What a shame, he makes that little boy walk." They decided they >both would walk! >Soon they passed some more people who thought they were stupid to >walk when they had a decent donkey to ride. So they both rode the >donkey! >Now they passed some people that shamed them by saying "how awful to >put such a load on a poor donkey". The boy and man said they were >probably right so they decided to carry the donkey. >As they crossed a bridge, they lost their grip on the animal and he >fell into the river and drowned. > >Management Lesson: >If you try to please everyone, you will eventually lose your ass >

To: The Philosopher who wrote (26824)	2/24/2003 9:43:39 PM
From: Karen Lawrence	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

And I suppose you're taken. :) The wedding day was fast approaching. Everything was ready, and nothing could dampen Jennifer's excitement, not even her parents' nasty divorce. Her mother Sheila finally found the PERFECT dress to wear and would be the best dressed mother of the bride EVER! A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn her new young stepmother, Barbie, had purchased the same dress. She asked Barbie to exchange the dress, but Barbie refused, "Absolutely not! I'm going to wear this dress; I'll look like a million in it!" Jennifer told her mother, who graciously replied, "Never mind dear. I'll get another dress, after all it's YOUR special day, not hers." Two weeks later, another dress was finally found. When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, "What are you going to do with the first dress? Maybe you should return it. You don't have any place to wear it." Sheila grinned and replied, "Of course, I do, dear! I'm wearing it to the rehearsal dinner!" -------------------