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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Lazarus_Long who wrote (26858)	2/25/2003 7:16:47 PM
From: PatiBob	Respond to of 62549

HWL!! That's great! Question: You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner and is running at you while screaming obscenities. In our hand is a Glock .40 and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do? * Liberal Answer: Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that is inspiring him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me or would he just be content to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days to try to come to a conclusion. * Conservative Answer: BANG! * Texan's Answer: BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click... (sounds of a clip being ejected and fresh clip installed) Wife: "Sweetheart, he looks like he's still moving, what do you kids think?" Son: "Mom's right Dad, I saw him move too..." BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Daughter: "Nice grouping Daddy!"

To: Lazarus_Long who wrote (26858)	2/25/2003 8:58:45 PM
From: Jagfan	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

I don't think he will respond. There's much more joke material with Billy Boy. OJ Sleeping Beauty, Hercules and Don Juan are sitting around a table discussing who the best person in the world is. Sleeping Beauty claims that she is the best because she is the most beautiful person in the world. Hercules claims that he is the best because he is the strongest person in the world. Don Juan claims that he is the best because he has loved the most women in the world. So they decide to go speak to the wise man and see who is the best. They agree to go in alone so as not to be embarassed in front of the others. Sleepy Beauty goes in first and came out smiling. She says that she truly is the most beautiful person in the world. Hercules goes in next and also came out smiling. He says that he truly is the strongest person in all the world. Don Juan goes in last but when he comes out he is very angry and confused. He exclaims,''Who the hell is Bill Clinton?!?''