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Pastimes : PUNS - The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: Jacques Chitte who wrote (173)7/29/1997 9:29:00 PM
From: Lady Lurksalot  Respond to of 269
 
Bob and Ruth were out for a ride on his Harley. Ruth fell off, and Bob rode on ruthlessly.



To: Jacques Chitte who wrote (173)7/14/2009 11:35:59 PM
From: long-gone  Respond to of 269
 
know what herb would taste nice with this," said Tom sagely.
"You resemble a goat," said Tom satirically.
"The seesaw is upside down," said Tom saucily.
"So only one person arrived at the party before I did?" Tom second-guessed.
"I won't tell you anything about my salivary glands," said Tom secretively.
"Would you like to buy some cod?" asked Tom selfishly.
"Boy, that's a bright star," said Tom seriously.
"I just bought a woollen sweater," said Tom sheepishly.
"Ought I to do this?" asked Tom with a shudder.
"This looks like the fruit of the blackthorn," said Tom slowly.
"I can take photographs if I want to!" Tom snapped.
"Angel dust? Me? Never touch it!" Tom snorted.
"Yes, I'm amazingly strongly built," said Tom soberly.
"My bicycle wheel is melting," Tom spoke softly.
"Some day, people will be able to file lawsuits against computers," said Tom soothingly.
"The optician probably doesn't have my glasses ready yet," Tom speculated.
"You don't see the point, do you?" asked Tom, stabbing in the dark.
"Hey, you're on my foot!" said Tom standoffishly.
"Boy, I wish the elevator were working," said Tom, staring up to the top.
"Monaural and quadraphonic systems are exceptions," said Tom stereotypically.
"I can see through the window," said Tom stiltedly.
"Consult an investment broker," was Tom's stock answer.
"I'm putting on my T-shirt, shorts, and sunglasses," Tom summarised.
"That's especially stupid!" said Tom superciliously.
"This salmon is excellent," said Tom superficially.
"Don't you know my name?" asked Tom swiftly.
- T -

"I work at a bank," said Tom tellingly.
"I shall see to it well in advance," said Tom tenderly.
"I have no idea," said Tom thoughtlessly.
"Parsley, sage, rosemary," said Tom timelessly.
"I was adopted," said Tom transparently.
"I'm testing this boomerang," said Tom triflingly.
"I punched him in the stomach three times," said Tom triumphantly.
- U -

"The bank doesn't want me as a customer," said Tom unaccountably.
"It's homemade soup," said Tom uncannily.
"I don't know any shanties," said Tom unceasingly.
"Have some shampoo," was Tom's unconditional offer.
"I won't stand for painting," said Tom uneasily.
"Don't nobody go teasin' he momma's momma with feather," said Tom ungrammatically.
"Your trousers have come apart!" was Tom's unseemly comment.
"I want to date other women," said Tom unsteadily.
"Henry the Eighth!" said Tom unthinkingly.
"No, I won't give you a note saying you're excused," said Tom unwaveringly.
"I'm going to be intestate," said Tom unwillingly.
"If I let go of the ceiling it will collapse," Tom upheld.
"The lion has its head caught in the skylight," said Tom uproariously.
- V -

"I feel so empty," said Tom vacuously.
"I need an injection," Tom pleaded in vain.
"I can tell which way the wind blows," said Tom vainly.
"I invested in a hi-tech startup," Tom ventured.
"Our local clergyman has a toothache," said Tom vicariously.
"A spirit transported me from the couch to the chair," said Tom, visibly moved.
- W -

"I wouldn't like anything but just that," said Tom wantonly.
"Do you know the location?" asked Tom warily.
"Eating garbage is a form of recycling, but I can't eat any more" said Tom wastefully.
"I visit my parents every Sunday," said Tom weakly.
"I don't like this Chardonnay," Tom whined.
"Phew! I've just finished learning all Shakespeare's works," said Tom willfully.
"Some you lose," said Tom winsomely.
"This tooth extraction could take for ever," said Tom with infinite wisdom.
"I wish I could remember the name of that card game," said Tom wistfully.
"Stop, horse! Stop!" cried Tom woefully.
"This must be an aerobics class," Tom worked out.
"This is all from memory," Tom wrote.
"I'm Irish," said Tom wryly.
- X -

"Every last one of you is a wimp," said Tom xerophytically.
- Y -

"You've got to be egging me on," yolked Tom.
"I used lots of detergent in late December," was Tom's yuletide comment.
- Z -

"Zo, what do you have for zale?" asked Tom zealously.
"I can't eat any more lemon peel," said Tom zestfully.
"Your fly is undone," was Tom's zippy rejoinder.
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