To: Solon who wrote (6079 ) 3/17/2003 8:49:12 PM From: E Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 7689 In my email today: >You know the world is going crazy when... > >the best rapper is white, >the best golfer is black, >the best soldiers are Jewish, >and Germany doesn't want to go to war and: EVIL AXIS WANNABEES >>>> by John Cleese (formerly of the UK's Monty Python comedy troupe) >>>> >>>> Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil", Libya, >>>> China and Syria today announced that they had formed the "Axis of Just >>>> as Evil", which they said would be more evil than that stupid >>>> Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of in his 2002 >>>> State of the >>>> Union address. >>>> >>>> Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the new Axis as >>>> having, for starters, a really dumb name. "Right. They are just as evil >>>> ... in their dreams!" declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il. >>>> "Everybody knows we're the best evils ... best at being evil ... we're the >>>> best." >>>> >>>> Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded, >>>> although they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of Evil. >>>> "They told us it was full", said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad. >>>> >>>> "An axis can't have more than three countries", explained Iraqi >>>> President Saddam Hussein. >>>> >>>> "This is not my rule, it's tradition. In World War II you had Germany, >>>> Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. So, you can only have three, and a >>>> secret handshake. Ours is wickedly cool". >>>> >>>> International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift, as >>>> within minutes, France surrendered. >>>> >>>> Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumvirate status in >>>> what has become a game of geopolitical chairs. Cuba, Sudan and Serbia >>>> announced that they had formed the "Axis of Somewhat Evil", forcing >>>> Somalia to join with Uganda and Myanmar in the "Axis of Occasionally >>>> Evil", >>>> while Bulgaria, Indonesia and Russia established the "Axis of Not So >>>> Much Evil Really as Just Generally Disagreeable". >>>> >>>> With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs filling >>>> up, Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called the >>>> "Axis of Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked to >>>> Host the Olympics". >>>> >>>> Canada, Mexico and Australia formed the "Axis of Nations That Are >>>> Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Some Nasty Thoughts About America", >>>> while Scotland, New Zealand and Spain established the "Axis of Countries >>>> That Want Sheep to Wear Lipstick". >>>> >>>> "That's not a threat, really, just something we like to do", said >>>> Scottish Executive First Minister Jack McConnell. While wondering if the >>>> other nations of the world weren't perhaps making fun of him, a cautious >>>> Bush granted approval for most of the axis groupings, although he >>>> rejected the establishment of the "Axis of Countries Whose Names End in >>>> 'Guay", accusing one of its members of filing a false >>>> application. O fficials >>>> from Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the charges.