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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: TigerPaw who wrote (27348)	3/26/2003 2:13:18 PM
From: JakeStraw	Respond to of 62549

TigerPaw, did someone in you 6th grade class tell you that one?!

To: TigerPaw who wrote (27348)	3/26/2003 5:22:04 PM
From: Lazarus_Long	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

"The Democrats have selected Boston, Massachusetts, as the sight of their 2004 Democratic Convention. The convention will be held in September. This way the Red Sox and the Democrats can face mathematical elimination together." —Jay Leno "It's amazing how quickly the news changes. I mean it's hard to believe just ten days ago we believed Osama Bin Laden was dead the Democratic party was alive." —Jay Leno "Because the election was such a disaster for the Democrats, it looks like the leader of the party might be stepping down. But enough about Barbra Streisand." —Jay Leno "Following revelations that he fathered a love child, the good Reverend Jesse Jackson — or should we say the "very" good Reverend — is enduring the scandal with the help of family and friends. A scandal which gives clearer meaning to the Rainbow Coalition's "Operation 'Push'." —Jon Stewart "Former Vice President Walter Fritz Mondale was officially nominated by the Democratic party of Minnesota to replace Paul Wellstone on the ballot. Look out Michael Jordan, Mondale is the new comeback kid. Mondale became the party's top choice over the weekend after the Democrats inadvertently set their clocks back to 1976." —Craig Kilborn

To: TigerPaw who wrote (27348)	3/26/2003 5:23:43 PM
From: Lazarus_Long	Respond to of 62549

Q: What's the difference between a Democrat and a trampoline? A: You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline. Q: What's the difference between a Democrat and a prostitute? A: The prostitute give value for the money she takes. Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead Democrat in the road? A: Vultures will eat the skunk. Q: What's the difference between a Democrat and a catfish? A: One is an ugly, scum sucking bottom-feeder and the other is a fish. Q: What do you get when you cross a bad politician with a lawyer? A: Chelsea. Q: What do you get when you cross a pilgrim with a democrat? A: A god-fearing tax collector who gives thanks for what other people have. Q: Why should Democrats be buried 100 feet deep? A: Because deep down, they're really good people. Q: What happens when you cross a pig with a Democrat? A: Nothing. There are some things a pig won't do. Q: Why did God create Democrats ? A: In order to make used car salesmen look good. Q: What is a recent Democrat graduate's usual question in his first job? A: What would you like to have with your french fries, sir? Q. How many Democrats does it take to screw in a light bulb? A. Just one, but it really gets screwed. Q: How many Democrats does it take to change a light bulb? A: It's irrelevant; they still don't know they're in the dark!

To: TigerPaw who wrote (27348)	3/26/2003 5:24:36 PM
From: Lazarus_Long	Respond to of 62549

They say that Christopher Columbus was the first Democrat. When he left to discover America, he didn't know where he was going. When he got there he didn't know where he was. And it was all done on a government grant.

To: TigerPaw who wrote (27348)	3/26/2003 5:26:46 PM
From: Lazarus_Long	Respond to of 62549

dolphin.upenn.edu

To: TigerPaw who wrote (27348)	3/26/2003 5:47:17 PM
From: Lazarus_Long	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

Have you heard about this morning's press conference in Washington??? The entire Democratic caucus (both Senate and House) joined together on the capitol steps, all outfitted for battle in full desert fatigues and armed with M-16s, grenades, and other various weapons. Ted Kennedy even had a young aide along, sporting a nice pair of bazookas.... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Be sure and let me know if you need any more help.