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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: TigerPaw who wrote (27362)	3/26/2003 5:55:16 PM
From: Lazarus_Long	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

Q: What is the difference between a liberal and a puppy? A: A puppy stops whining after it grows up.

To: TigerPaw who wrote (27362)	3/26/2003 5:56:50 PM
From: TigerPaw	Respond to of 62549

Coalition of the Willing Known as COW because were getting milked for all the bribes. Angola pulled out of the coalition, but Bush claims support from two out of three Dixie Chicks.

To: TigerPaw who wrote (27362)	3/26/2003 5:57:55 PM
From: Lazarus_Long	Respond to of 62549

There were 3 high school-aged boys walking down the street in Washington. Suddenly, they see Bill Clinton go jogging by, and he's about to be hit by a car. So, they pull Bill out of the way and save his life. Bill says "Thank you for saving my life. I'll grant each of you one wish." The first boy says, "I want to go to Georgetown." Bill pulls some strings and gets the boy admitted. The second boy says "I want to get into West Point, but it normally requires a Congressional appointment". So Bill calls up his Democratic friends in Congress and gets the boy his appointment. The third boy says "I want to be buried in Arlington National Cemetary." Bill says "That's an odd request for a 17-year old!" The boy says "Yeah, but when my father finds out I saved your life he's gonna kill me!"

To: TigerPaw who wrote (27362)	3/26/2003 6:04:16 PM
From: Lazarus_Long	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

Quiz A - Bill Clinton B - Warren G. Harding C - Andrew Jackson D - Thomas Jefferson E - Lyndon B. Johnson F - John F. Kennedy G - Franklin D. Roosevelt H - George Washington 1. Which president smoked marijuana with a nude playgirl while he joked about being too wasted to "push the button" in case of nuclear attack? 2. Which president allegedly had affairs with both a winner AND a finalist in the Miss America pageant? 3. Which president had sex with one of his secretaries stretched out atop a desk in the oval office? 4. Which president allegedly had an affair (as well as children) with a slave who was his wife's half sister? 5. Which president called his mistress "Pookie"? 6. Which president married a woman who hadn't yet divorced her first husband, and was branded an "adulterer" during his re-election campaign? 7. Which future president wrote love letters to his neighbor's wife while he was engaged to someone else? 8. Which president had a torrid affair with the first lady's personal secretary? 9. Which president had sex with a young woman in a White House coat closet - at one point, while a secret service agent prevented the hysterical first lady from attacking them? 10. Which president had sex in a closet while telling his partner about the other president who did the same in a closet? (The one from Question 9)? 11. Which vice president was ticked off because he felt that HIS record of sexual conquests was much more "impressive" (i.e. numerous) than the President's? 12. Which future president, while a college student, enjoyed showing off his p***s (which he named Jumbo)? Scroll down for answers ... ANSWERS 1. F 2. A 3. E 4. D 5. A 6. C 7. H, E 8. G, F 9. B 10. F 11. E 12. E ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "We aim to please. Sometomes we hit London." - misquote of Wehrner von Braun