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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: ManyMoose who wrote (27413)	3/29/2003 4:11:08 AM
From: Guardian	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62554

Subject: Riddles > >What is the Iraqi air force motto? >I came, I saw, Iran. > >Have you heard about the new Iraqi air force exercise program? >Each morning you raise your hands above your head and leave them there. > >What's the five-day forecast for Baghdad? >Two days. > >What do Miss Muffet and Saddam Hussein have in common? >They both have Kurds in their way. > >What is the best Iraqi job? >Foreign ambassador. > >Did you hear that it is twice as easy to train Iraqi fighter pilots? >You only have to teach them to take off. > >How do you play Iraqi bingo? >B-52 ... F-16 ... F-14 > >What is Iraq's national bird? >Duck. > >What do Saddam Hussein and General Custer have in common? >They both want to know where the hell those Tomahawks are coming from. > >Why does the Iraqi navy have glass bottom boats? >So they can see their air force.

To: ManyMoose who wrote (27413)	3/29/2003 3:10:25 PM
From: Ron	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62554

HOW MANY DOGS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB? GOLDEN RETRIEVER: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned-out bulb? LAB: Oh, me, me! Pleeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? GERMAN SHEPHERD: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, checked to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation. JACK RUSSELL TERRIER: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture. COCKER SPANIEL: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark. OLD ENGLISH SHEEP DOG: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb. CATS: Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the question is: How long will it be before I can expect light? ALL OF WHICH PROVES, ONCE AGAIN, THAT WHILE DOGS HAVE MASTERS, CATS HAVE STAFF...

To: ManyMoose who wrote (27413)	3/31/2003 9:12:58 AM
From: Ron	Respond to of 62554

IRAQI FAKE BOOK **USE WHEN CAUGHT BETWEEN IRAQ AND A HARD PLACE. HERE'S THAT IRANI DAY OILY AUTUMN PAPA'S GOT A BRAND NEW BAGHDAD KUWAIT TILL YOU SEE HER EMIR BIST DU SCHON IT'S SAUDI DUTY TIME THIS SCUD BE THE START OF SOMETHING NEW BLAME IT ON THE BASRA NOVA THE AMMAN I LOVE SADDAM OF THESE DAYS YASSIR, THAT'S MY BABY MOON OVER MY ARMY ALLAH BE AROUND TANKS FOR THE MEMORIES DAHRAN THAT DREAM RIYADHBIRD SUITE MUSCAT RAMBLE OMAN THE RANGE A SLEEPING B-52 LITTLE NILE LONG AGO AND FAHD AWAY FOR OIL WE KNOW IN A MULLAH TONE MARINE, (THE DAWN IS BREAKING) I LOVE A BRIGADE CAMEL-LOT SHEIK TO SHEIK P.L.O. YOUNG LOVERS WHEREVER YOU ARE BEDOUIN THE BEGUINE I'VE GROWN ACCUSTOMED TO HER FEZ SADDAM, YOU'RE ROCKIN' THE BOAT ARNETT YOU GLAD YOU'RE YOU I CLOBBER THE WATERFRONT HEY JEWS AS SADDAM GOES BY THREE LITTLE KURDS I WANT TO HOLD YOUR LAND I CAN'T GET NO SAUDI'S FACTION WHO PUT THE BOMB, IN THE BOMB, BOMB, BOMB IT'S A SIN TO TEL AVIV MOTHER OF ALL MACHREES BOULEVARD OF BROKEN PAVEMENTS HUSSEIN, WE'VE STOOD AND TALKED LIKE THIS BEFORE THESE FUELISH THINGS IF YOU KNEW SAUDI LIKE I KNEW SAUDI CAIRO MUBAREK TO OLD VIRGINNY I DISMEMBER YOU IT'S SAUDI MAKE BELIEVE OIL BE AROUND SPLISH SPLASH I WAS TAKEN A BAATH ALEXANDRIA'S RAGTIME BANDAGE MISSILE OTIS REGRETS FAREWELL TO ARMS YOU BROUGHT A NUKE KIND OF LOVE TO ME COUNT YOUR BLASTINGS I'M ON FIRE 19TH NERVE GAS BREAKDOWN I CAN'T BE BA'ATHERED NOW ARAB YOU, A BUSHEL AND OPEC MY OLD FLAME SOMEDAY YOU'LL BE SORTIED NUKE ATTITUDE HIT ME WITH YOUR BEST SHOT THAT LUCKY OLD SULTAN MEAN MISTER MUSTARD GAS GREAT BALLS OF FIRE WANNA BE STRAFIN' SOMETHING? HAMAS, IS THAT DOGGIE IN THE WINDOW? THE JAFFA JIVE THOSE LAZY, CRAZY, HAZY DAYS OF OSAMA FIRE AND URANIUM MISTER SANDMAN I'VE GOT A CRUSH ON YOU SOMEBODY STEALTHED MY GAL BALLROOM BLITZER HEZBOLLAHVARD OF BROKEN DREAMS SH-BOOM UN, THE NIGHT, AND THE MUJAHEDIN IN A MELTDOWN TONE THERE GOES MY HEART I SURRENDER, DEAR SHAKE, RATTLE, AND ROLL I'M BRINGING AIR RAID RAID ROSE STEALTHED BY STARLIGHT ROCKET THE CASBAH AIN'T NO SUNSHINE ROCKET OMAN I GAZA I'LL HANG MY TEARS OUT TO DRY LITTLE ROCKET GETAWAY LOVES ME LIKE IRAQ BLINDED BY THE LIGHT SOON IT'S GUNNIN' IN BAHRAIN BE NOT EUPHRATES WHO'S SORTIED NOW? LULLABYE OF BURQUALAND PICK UP THE PIECES IF I ONLY HAD THE NERVE GAS AYATOLLAD E'VERY LITTLE STAR AMERICAN PETROL I SAW THE SINAI MY SHARIA STAND BY, YEMEN BABY, IT'S COLIN OUTSIDE