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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Neeka who wrote (27429)	3/30/2003 6:16:14 PM
From: Guardian	Respond to of 62551

A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as > > >she could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, > > >"Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me > > >be late!" As she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and > > >fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, > > >brushed herself off, and started running again. As she ran she once > > >again began to pray, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late...But please don't > > >shove me either!" > > >----------------------------------------------- > > > > > >A little boy was overheard praying: "Lord, if You can't make > > >me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time > > >like I am!" > > > > > >----------------------------------------------- > > > > > >Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers. > > > > > >The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of > > >paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50." > > > > > >The second boy says, "That's > > >nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls > > >it a song, they give him $100." > > > > > >The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few > > >words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon. And it takes eight people > > >to collect all the money!" > > > > > >----------------------------------------------- > > > > > >Adam and Eve must have had an ideal marriage. He didn't have to > > >hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear > > >about the way his mother cooked. > > > > > >----------------------------------------------- > > > > > >An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she > > >requested no male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for > > >her memorial service, she wrote, "They wouldn't take me out while I was > > >alive, I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead." > > > > > >----------------------------------------------- > > > > > >A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you > > >do if you had to arrest your own mother?" > > > > > >He said, "Call for backup !" > > > > > >----------------------------------------------- > > > > > >A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she > > >dismissed them to go to church, "And why is it necessary to be quiet > > >in church?" > > > > > > > > >Annie replied, "Because people are sleeping." > > > > > >----------------------------------------------- > > >A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took > > >Jesus with them to Jerusalem. A small child replied: "They couldn't get > > >a baby-sitter." > > > > > >----------------------------------------------- > > > > > >A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with > > >her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor > > >thy father and thy mother," she asked, "Is there a commandment that > > >teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one > > >little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill." > > > > > >----------------------------------------------- > > > > > >At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, > > >including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when > > >they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in > > >the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and > > >said, Johnny what is the matter? > > > > > > > > >Little Johnny responded, "I have pain in my side. I think I'm going > > >to have a wife." > >