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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Barney who wrote (27462)	4/1/2003 9:09:42 PM
From: Barney	Respond to of 62550

The preacher said, "There's no such thing as a perfect woman. Anybody present who has ever known a perfect woman, stand up." Nobody stood up. "Those who have ever known a perfect man, stand up." One elderly gentleman stood up. "Are you honestly saying you knew an absolutely perfect man?" he asked, somewhat amazed. "Well now, I didn't know him personally," replied the little old man, "but I have heard a great deal about him. He was my wife's first husband."

To: Barney who wrote (27462)	4/1/2003 9:24:01 PM
From: Ron	Respond to of 62550

During WWII, an American Army Captain stationed in England met and fell in love with a British Lieutenant in the WRENS. After a whirlwind courtship, they became engaged and his fiancee wanted him to spend the weekend at her parents' home in the country so they could meet him. When they arrived at a huge estate, a Rolls Royce was parked in front of a circular driveway with a staff of a dozen maids, butlers, gardeners, etc., standing at attention awaiting their arrival. It was obvious to the Yank that his fiancee was no ordinary Brit, but of the nobility. Her parents were absolutely taken by her choice of a husband and a delightful weekend was enjoyed by all. When the Yank returned to his headquarters outside London, he went to the British liaison officer's office, explained what had happened, and asked what the proper protocol would be for him at the wedding. "At the wedding, pretty much the same as your American weddings, I would say, but a bit more elaborate. The big difference would be after the wedding. You will both have connecting rooms in the Claridge. You will both go to your separate rooms, where you will bathe, apply cologne, put on your pajamas and robe, and go to the door connecting your two rooms." "You will rap on the door. She will answer,'Yes,' and you will say, 'I offer you my honor.' She will respond, 'I honor your offer.' That is your permission to enter her room. After that, it's honor and offer all night."