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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: mr.mark who wrote (27776)	4/28/2003 8:18:10 PM
From: steve	Respond to of 62556

Ole was stopped by a game warden in Northern Minnesota recently leaving a lake well known for its Walleye. He had two buckets of fish. As it was during the spawning season, the game warden asked, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?" Ole replied, "No, sir! Dese here are my pet fish." "Pet fish?" the warden replied. "Ya sure, you betcha." answered Ole. "Every night I take dese fish here down to da lake and let dem svim around for a while. Den I vhistle and dey yump back into deir buckets and I take dem home." "That's a bunch of hooey. Fish can't do that." said the game warden. Ole looked at the game warden with an expression of great hurt, and then said, "Yumpin Yimminy! Vell den, I'll just show you den. It really does vork, don'tcha know?" "O.K. I've got to see this!" The game warden was really curious now. So Ole poured the fish into the lake and stood waiting. After several minutes, the game warden turned to Ole and said, "Well?" "Vell what?" responded Ole.. "When are you going to call them back?" "Call who back?" asked Ole. "The fish!" "What fish?"

To: mr.mark who wrote (27776)	4/29/2003 2:24:19 PM
From: Doug Coughlan	Read Replies (3) \| Respond to of 62556

Subject: Reasons to drink beer "Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver." Jack Handy "I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning , that's as good as they're going to feel all day." Frank Sinatra "An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk in order to spend time with his friends." Ernest Hemingway "When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." Henny Youngman "24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not." Stephen Wright "When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, lets all get drunk and go to heaven!" Brian O'Rourke "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." Benjamin Franklin "Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza." Dave Barry BEER: HELPING UGLY PEOPLE HAVE SEX SINCE 3000 B.C.!!! "Genesis" Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser. To some its a six-pack, to me its a Support Group. And, saving the best for last: One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm. Here's how it went: "Well ya see, Norm, it's like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. "In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells , making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers." As explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers