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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: RealMuLan who wrote (28252)	6/17/2003 9:35:03 PM
From: Tony McFadden	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62543

probably scumware. download adaware (it's free) and run it periodically to remove that crap that gets stuck (without your permission or knowledge) in your registry files... webattack.com

To: RealMuLan who wrote (28252)	6/20/2003 2:04:24 AM
From: 2MAR$	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62543

Do we need a high school exit exam in the US ? Actual exam bloopers: 1) Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere. 2) The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, Adam, and Eve were created from an apple tree. One their children, Cain, asked, Am I my brother's son ?" 3) Moses led the hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada. 4) Solomon had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines! 5) In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, junped, hurled the biscuits, and threw the java. 6) Queen Elizabeth was the 'Virgin Queen'. As a queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted hurrah. 7) It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Guttenburg invented the removable type and the Bible. Sit Walter Raleigh is a historical figure, because he invented cigarettes and started smoking. And Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper. 8) Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained. 9) During the Renaissance America began. Christopher Columbus was a great navigator who discovered America while cursing about the Atlantic. His ships were called the Nina, the Pinto and the Santa Fe. 10) One of the causes of the Revolutionary War was the English put tacks in their tea. Also the colonists would send their parcels through the post without stamps. Finally the colonists won the War and no longer had to pay for taxis! 11) Soon the Constitution of the United States was adopted to secure dmoestic hostility. Under the constitution the people enjoyed the right to keep bare arms. 12) The French Revolution was accomplished before it happened and catapulted into Napoleon. Napoleon wanted an heir to inherit his power, but since Josephine was a baroness, she could not have any children! ;-)