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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: SIer formerly known as Joe B. who wrote (28498)	7/4/2003 7:18:57 PM
From: The Philosopher	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62558

So, you have no sense of humor. And you have no ethics of posting an OJ to this thread. Very sad. OJ: A new study shows that licking the sweat off a frog can cure depression. The down side is, the minute you stop licking, the frog gets depressed again.

To: SIer formerly known as Joe B. who wrote (28498)	7/5/2003 11:39:04 AM
From: Karen Lawrence	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62558

Supposedly in the late 1700s (but it seems a little fishy to me)...As incredible as it sounds, men and women took baths only twice a year! (May and October).Women kept their hair covered, while men shaved! their heads (because of lice and bugs) and wore wigs. Wealthy men could afford good wigs made from wool. The wigs couldn't be washed so to clean them, they could carve out a loaf of bread, put the wig in the shell and bake it for 30 minutes. The heat would make the wig big and fluffy, hence the term "big wig." Today we often use the term "here comes the Big Wig" because someone appears to be or is powerful and wealthy. ****************************************************************** In the late 1700s many houses consisted of a large room with only one chair. Commonly, a long wide board was folded down from the wall and used for dining. The "head of the household" always sat in the chair while everyone else ate sitting on the floor. Once in a while an invited guest would be offered to sit in this chair during a meal (who was almost always a man). To sit in the chair meant you were important and in charge. Sitting in the chair, one was called the "chair man." Today in business we use the _expression/title "Chairman.. or Chairman of the Board" ***************************************************************** Needless to say, personal hygiene left much room for improvement. As a result, many women and men had developed acne scars by adulthood. The women would spread bee's wax over their facial skin to smooth out their complexions. When they were speaking to each other, if a woman began to stare at another woman's face she was told "mind your own bee's wax."Should the woman smile, the wax would crack, hence the term "crack a smile." Also, when they sat too close to the fire, the wax would melt and therefore the _expression "losing face." ***************************************************************** Ladies wore corsets which would lace up in the front. A tightly tied lace was worn by a proper and dignified lady as in "straight laced." ******************************************************** Common entertainment included playing cards. However, there was a tax levied when purchasing playing cards but only applicable to the "ace of spades." To avoid paying the tax, people would purchase 51 cards instead. Yet, since most games require 52 cards, these people were thought to be stupid or dumb because they weren't "playing with a full deck." ***************************************************************** Early politicians required feedback from the public to determine what was considered important to the people. Since there were no telephones, TV's or radios, the politicians sent their assistants to local taverns, pubs and bars who were told to "go sip some ale" and listen to people's conversations and political concerns. Many assistants were dispatched at different times. "You go sip here" and "You go sip there." The two words "go sip" were eventually combined when referring to the local opinion and thus, we have the term "gossip." ****************************************************************** At local taverns, pubs and bars, people drank from pint and quart sized containers. A bar maid's job was to keep an eye on the customers and keep the drinks coming. She had to pay close attention and remember who was drinking in "pints" and who was drinking in "quarts." Hence the term "minding your "'P's and Q's

To: SIer formerly known as Joe B. who wrote (28498)	7/6/2003 9:29:51 PM
From: Ron	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62558

One day God was hanging out at the Pearly Gates with St. Paul. "I need to find someone to run for president," he said after a while. Attentive to his boss' needs, St. Paul started naming off a few qualified candidates. "Nah, I want that guy," he said pointing to a drunken Texas governor pissing off a balcony. "You've got to be kidding," said St. Paul, "Not only is he dumber than a box of rocks, he's got drinking and drug problems." "I don't care," said God, "This is the guy." Perplexed, St. Paul asked: "What is the problem, Lord, art thou angry with the Americans?" "No," said God, "I made a bet with the Devil that I could get a village idiot to run for president." "But won't that work in the Devil's favor, oh Lord?" Paul asked. "That's all right," said God, "he'll never take Florida."