Silicon Investor (SI) -- The First Internet Community

STOCKTALK

We've detected that you're using an ad content blocking browser plug-in or feature. Ads provide a critical source of revenue to the continued operation of Silicon Investor. We ask that you disable ad blocking while on Silicon Investor in the best interests of our community. If you are not using an ad blocker but are still receiving this message, make sure your browser's tracking protection is set to the 'standard' level.

Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: The Philosopher who wrote (28628)	7/9/2003 7:43:14 PM
From: Ron	Respond to of 62552

Q: Why did God create stock analysts ? A: In order to make weather forecasters look good. The market may be bad, but I slept like a baby last night. I woke up every hour and cried. "Get my broker, Miss Jones." "Yes sir. Stock, or Pawn?" How many investment bankers can you fit in the back of a pickup truck? Only 2 - you have to leave room for the lawn mowers! Bumper sticker on Wall Street: My other Porsche is for sale. Q. Who was the greatest Investor in the Bible? A. Noah--he was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation. Q. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible? A. Pharaoh's daughter--she went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet Stock Market Definitions STOCK - A magical piece of paper that is worth $33.75 until the moment after you buy it. It will then be worth $8.50. BOND - What you had with your spouse until you pawned his/her golf clubs to invest in Amazon.com. BROKER - The person you trust to help you make major financial decisions. Please note the first five letters of this word spell "Broke". BEAR - What your trade account and wallet will be when you take a flyer on that hot stock tip your secretary gave you. BULL - What your broker uses to explain why your mutual funds tanked during the last quarter. COMMISSION - The only reliable way to make money on the stock market, which is why your broker charges you one.