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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: SIer formerly known as Joe B. who wrote (28660)	7/13/2003 2:36:29 PM
From: Karen Lawrence	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62552

Musings. a.. I was thinking about how the status symbols of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped on. I can't afford one so I'm wearing my garage door opener. b.. You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people didn't like me anyway. c.. I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans! d.. I was thinking about old age and decided that it is when you still have something on the ball but you are just too tired to bounce it. e.. I thought about making a movie for folks my age and call it "Pumping Rust" f.. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older then it dawned on me . . . they were cramming for their finals. g.. You know when people see a cat's litter box, they always say, "Oh, have you got a cat?" Just once I wanted to say, "What makes you think that's for cats?" h.. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with little tiny spoons and forks so I wonder what Chinese mothers use. Perhaps toothpicks? i.. Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified in case of an emergency. I think you should write . . . A Good Doctor! j.. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they delivered the mail?

To: SIer formerly known as Joe B. who wrote (28660)	7/14/2003 8:33:16 AM
From: JakeStraw	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62552

Man Cleared, Claims Tea Drove Him Crazy customwire.ap.org PANAMA CITY, Fla. (AP) -- Criminal charges were dropped against a man whose defense lawyer claimed that drinking jasmine tea made him temporarily insane before he smashed his way into a neighbor's house and chased the woman with a dagger. Police said they found a wild-eyed Gilbert Walker, 43, outside the house in nearby Callaway yelling "I'm crazy" after he had broken a glass door with a brass duck. The neighbor ran screaming down the street until a motorist stopped and gave her a ride to a store where she called police. The judge dismissed aggravated assault and burglary charges Wednesday after receiving reports from three court-appointed psychologists. They agreed that Walker suffered from psychosis but offered no opinion on what caused it, Alton Paulk of the state attorney's office said Friday. Jasmine is an herb commonly taken to calm the stomach but is also used as a love potion in satanic and cult rituals, defense lawyer Mike Hunter said. Prosecutor Mark Graham said the psychologists' findings made him willing to accept dismissal of the charges. One doctor wrote that the psychotic episode last December was isolated and Walker should have no lasting problems. Walker, a software designer and engineer for a government contractor, declined comment. Hunter said a forensic toxicologist told him that certain jasmines can be hallucinogenic. "It depends on what you use and what you mix it with," Hunter said. Walker's former girlfriend gave him the tea to settle his stomach, but didn't warn him to limit his intake and he consumed up to 10 cups daily, Hunter said. Prosecutors likened the tea theory to the "twinkie defense" used by former San Francisco Supervisor Dan White, who was charged with killing the city's mayor and another supervisor in 1978. He avoided a first-degree murder charge and was convicted of involuntary manslaughter after his lawyers convinced jurors that eating junk food had diminished White's mental capacity.