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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Barney who wrote (29087)	8/15/2003 11:11:51 AM
From: Barney	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62567

The kindergarten class had settled down to its coloring books. Willie came up to the teacher's desk and said, "Miss Francis, I ain't got no crayons." "Willie," Miss Francis said, "you mean, "I don't have any crayons.' You don't have any crayons. We don't have any crayons. They don't have any crayons. Do you see what I'm getting at?" "Not really," Willie said, "What happened to all them crayons?"

To: Barney who wrote (29087)	8/18/2003 9:21:23 AM
From: Ron	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62567

A few more points to ponder: >1. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film. >. >2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest. >. >3. A day without sunshine is like, well, night. >. >4. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. >. >5. Back up my hard drive? How do I put it in reverse? >. >6. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory. >. >7. When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty. >. >8. Seen it all, done it all. Can't remember most of it. >. >9. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't. >. >10. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe. >. >11. He's not dead. He's electroencephalographically challenged. >. >12. She's always late. In fact, her ancestors arrived on the "Juneflower." >. >13. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted >and used against you. >. >14. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges. >. >15. Honk if you love peace and quiet. >. >16. Pardon my driving, I'm reloading. >. >17. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular? >. >18. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool. >. >19. It is hard to understand how a cemetery can raise its burial costs and blame it on the higher cost of living. >. >20. Just remember ... if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off. >. >21. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong. >. >22. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them. >. >23. You can't have everything. Where would you put it? >. >24. Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world population. >. >25. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it. >. >26. The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first. >. >27. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.. >. >28. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries. >. >29. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture. >. >30. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well. >. >31. It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats. >. >32. Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens. >. >33. I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few. >. >34. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it. >. >35. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people that weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty. >. >36. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.