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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: John Carragher who wrote (29160)	8/22/2003 7:27:34 AM
From: Guardian	Respond to of 62590

old one An Irishman in a wheelchair entered a restaurant one afternoon and asked > > > the waitress for a cup of coffee. The Irishman looked across the > > > restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus sitting over there?" > > > > > > The waitress nodded "Yes." So the Irishman told her to give Jesus a cup > > > of coffee on him. > > > > > > The next patron to come in was an Englishman with a hunched back. He > > > shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down, and asked the waitress for > a > > > cup of hot tea. He also glanced across the restaurant and asked, "Is > that > > > Jesus over there?" > > > > > > The waitress nodded, so the Englishman said to give Jesus a cup of hot > > > tea, "my treat." > > > > > > The third patron to come into the restaurant was a Redneck on > > > crutches...He hobbled over to a booth, sat down and hollered, > > > "Hey there, sweet thang. How's about gettin' me a cold glass of Coke !" > > > > > > He, too, looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that God's boy over > > > there?" > > > > > > The waitress once more allowed as how it certainly was, so the Redneck > > > said to give Jesus a cold glass of Coke, "on my bill." > > > > > > As Jesus got up to leave, he passed by the Irishman, touched him and > said, > > > "For your kindness, you are healed." ... The Irishman > > > felt the strength come back into his legs, got up, and danced a jig out > > > the door. Jesus also passed by the Englishman, touched him and said, > "For > > > your kindness, you are healed." ... The Englishman felt his back > > > straightening up, and he raised his hands, praised the Lord and did a > > > series of back flips out the door. > > > > > > Then Jesus walked towards the Redneck. The Redneck jumped up and yelled, > > > "Don't touch me... ... I'm drawin' disability!

To: John Carragher who wrote (29160)	8/22/2003 12:17:12 PM
From: Karen Lawrence	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62590

A good pun is its own reword: Energizer Bunny arrested!! - charged with battery. A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative. Practice safe eating - always use condiments. Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death. I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded. If electricity comes from electrons... does that mean that morality comes from morons? A hangover is the wrath of grapes. Corduroy pillows are making headlines. Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play. Banning the bra was a big flop. Sea captains don't like crew cuts. Sea captains don't like crew cuts. Does the name Pavlov ring a bell? A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter. A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor. Without geometry, life is pointless. When you dream in color, it's a pigment of your imagination. Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion. Reading whilst sunbathing makes you well-red. Alarms: What an octopus is. Crick: The sound that a Japanese camera makes. Dockyard: A physician's garden. Incongruous: Where bills are passed. Khakis: What you need to start the car in Boston. Oboe: An English tramp. Pasteurize: Too far to see.