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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Jagfan who wrote (29191)	8/28/2003 9:45:30 AM
From: Jagfan	Respond to of 62567

A yuppie was sent a ransom note saying that he was to bring $50,000 to the 17th hole of the country club at ten o’clock the next day if he ever wanted to see his wife alive again. He didn’t arrive until almost 12:30. A masked man stepped out from behind some bushes and growled, “What the hell took you so long? You’re more than two hours late.” “Hey, give me a break!” whined the yuppie. “I’m a 27 handicap.”

To: Jagfan who wrote (29191)	8/30/2003 8:27:29 AM
From: Ron	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62567

Actual English Subtitles Used in Hong Kong Films 1. I am damn unsatisfied to be killed in this way. 2. Fatty, you with your thick face have hurt my instep. 3. Gun wounds again? 4. Same old rules: no eyes, no groin. 5. A normal person wouldn't steal pituitaries. 6. Damn, I'll burn you into a BBQ chicken! 7. Take my advice, or I'll spank you without pants. 8. Who gave you the nerve to get killed here? 9. Quiet or I'll blow your throat up. 10. You always use violence. I should've ordered glutinous rice chicken. 11. I'll fire aimlessly if you don't come out! 12. You daring lousy guy. 13. Beat him out of recognizable shape! 14. I got knife scars more than the number of your leg's hair! 15. Beware! Your bones are going to be disconnected. 16. The bullets inside are very hot. Why do I feel so cold? 17. How can you use my intestines as a gift? 18. This will be of fine service for you, you bag of the scum. I am sure you will not mind that I remove your manhoods and leave them out on the dessert flour for your aunts to eat. 19. Yah-hah, evil spider woman! I have captured you by the short rabbits and can now deliver you violently to your gynecologist for a thorough extermination. 20. Greetings, large black person. Let us not forget to form a team up together and go into the country to inflict the pain of our karate feets on some ass of the giant lizard person.