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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Ish who wrote (29245)	9/4/2003 8:14:04 PM
From: John Carragher	Respond to of 62562

Bill Clinton, Al Gore and George W. Bush died and found themselves standing on the other side of the Jordan River, looking across at the promised land. The Archangel Michael was standing on the other side and shouted over to the three surprised Americans, "Contrary to what you have been taught, each of you will have to wade across the Jordan River." As Michael saw their perplexed looks, he reassured them by saying, "Don't worry. You will sink only proportionally according to your sins on earth. The more you have sinned the more you will sink into the water." The three American sages of political lore looked at one another, trying to determine who shall be the first brave soul to cross the Jordan River. Finally George W. Bush volunteered to go first. Slowly he began to wade out into the river, and slowly the water began to get higher and higher, reaching to his waist. George began to sweat, thinking that all of his sins were coming back to haunt him. He was beginning to wonder if he would ever see the other side. Finally, after what seemed liked an eternity, he began to emerge on the river's bank. As he ascended to the other side, he looked behind him to see which one of the other brave souls was going next. A shock of surprise registered on his face, as he saw Al Gore almost in the middle of the river and only his ankles barely touching the water. He turned to Michael and exclaimed, "I know Al Gore, I'm a little surprised that he hasn't sinned more than that!" Archangel Michael replied, "He's standing on Clinton's shoulders!"

To: Ish who wrote (29245)	9/5/2003 12:11:21 AM
From: Tadsamillionaire	Respond to of 62562

VIAGRA DIET A woman asks her husband if he'd like some breakfast. "Would you like bacon and eggs, perhaps? A slice of toast? Grapefruit and coffee to follow?" she asks. He declines. "It's this Viagra," he says. "It's really taken the edge off my appetite." At lunchtime, she asks if he would like something. "A bowl of homemade soup, homemade muffins or a cheese sandwich?" she inquires. He declines. "The Viagra," he says, "really trashes my desire for food.." Come dinnertime, she asks if he wants anything to eat. Would he like maybe a steak and apple pie? Maybe he'd like a pizza microwaved or a tasty stir-fry that would only take a couple of minutes? He declines. "Naw, still not hungry." Well," she says, "would you mind letting me up? I'm starving

To: Ish who wrote (29245)	9/5/2003 12:06:31 PM
From: haqihana	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62562

Ish, Your version is closer to what I heard back in 1958. That version was about a new airport in a small town in Minnesota, and a Swede that faught in WW1 was the guest speaker. He began by saying; "Ve vas going back to the aerodrome, and ver attacked by a bunch of Fokkers. Der vas Fokkers in front of us, Fokkers on the right, Fokkers on the left, and Fokkers chasing us from behind." The emcee interupted Ole, and explained in the mike that Fokkers were a make of German fighter planes. Ole said; "Ja! But dos Fokkers vas Messerschmits!!"