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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Doug Coughlan who wrote (29448)	10/3/2003 9:01:19 AM
From: Doug Coughlan	Respond to of 62569

There is this atheist swimming in the ocean. All of a sudden, he sees a shark in the water, so he starts swimming furiously towards his boat. As he looks back, he sees the shark turn and head towards him. He's scared to death, and as he sees the jaws of the great white beast open, revealing its horrific teeth, the atheist screams, "Oh God! Save me!" In an instant, time is frozen and a bright light shines down from above. The man is motionless in the water when he hears the voice of God say, "You are an atheist. Why do you call upon me when you do not believe in me?" Confused, and knowing he can't lie, the man replies, "Well, that's true I don't believe in you, but how about the shark? Can you make the shark believe in you?" The Lord replies, "As you wish," and the light retracts back into the heavens. The man feels the water move once again. As the atheist looks back, he can see the jaws of the shark start to close down on him, when all of sudden the shark stops and pulls back. Shocked, the man watches as the huge beast closes its eyes, bows its head and says, "Thank you Lord for this food for which I am about to receive..."

To: Doug Coughlan who wrote (29448)	10/3/2003 7:12:18 PM
From: John Carragher	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62569

Subject : Sex Frogs A beautiful, well endowed, young lady, goes to her local pet store in search of an exotic pet. As she looks about the store, she notices a box full of frogs. The sign says: "Sex Frogs! Only $20 each! Money Back Guarantee! (Comes with complete instructions.) The girl excitedly looks around to see if anybody's watching her and whispers softly to the man behind the counter, "I'll take one." The man packaged the frog and said, "Just follow the instructions carefully." The girl nods, grabs the box, and is quickly on her way home. As soon as she closes the door to her apartment, she takes out the instructions &reads them thoroughly, doing exactly what it says to do: 1. Take a shower. 2. Splash on some nice smelling perfume. 3. Slip into a very sexy teddy. 4. Crawl into bed and place the frog down on the bed. She then quickly gets into bed with the frog and, to her surprise, nothing happens! The girl is totally frustrated and quite upset at this point. She rereads the instructions and notices at the bottom of the paper it says, "If you have any problems or questions, please call the pet store." The lady calls the pet store. The man says, "I had some complaints earlier today. I'll be right over." Within five minutes, the man is ringing her doorbell. The lady welcomes him in and says, "See, I've done everything according to the instructions and the damn thing just sits there." The man, looking very concerned, picks up the frog, stares directly into its eyes and sternly says: "Listen to me! I'm only going to show you how to do this one more time." PS Anticipation is half the fun ((~;~))