To: Jacob Snyder who wrote (116339 ) 10/7/2003 5:34:04 PM From: epicure Respond to of 281500 Fun Foreign Affairs Terminology: 06Oct03-Matthew Bargainer-Dude, You Got, Like, Totally Plamed - A glossary for these times October 6, 2003 Dude, You Got, Like, Totally Plamed A glossary for these times by Matthew Barganier antiwar.com anti-Americanism n: a neurosis associated with the followers of George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, and John Quincy Adams anti-Semite n: 1 : a person who concedes that Arabs might be human 2 : whomever David Frum happens to be arguing with at any given time Ba'athist n: an Iraqi who favors self-determination for his or her country Democrat n: a politician whose fevers of moral rectitude and fiscal restraint can only be cooled by inauguration democratically adv: how civilized peoples loot, oppress, and murder one another, as opposed to the informal methods of barbarians habeas corpus n: a talisman for terrorists Halabja n: 1 : a village in northern Iraq where, in 1988, the (American-funded) Iraqi (or [American-funded] Iranian) government gassed thousands of Kurds, to the (skillfully understated) horror of the Reagan administration 2 : a rhetorically weak effort to exploit suffering for political gain <Colin Powell's Halabja was no Gettysburg Address> Israel n: a state whose distance from America's capital belies its proximity to America's Capitol Kaaba n: the point toward which the staff of National Review turns five times daily and envisions nuclear holocaust massacre n: see HALABJA (do not, under any circumstances, see SABRA and SHATILA) neoconservative n: a person who believes the prefix neo- to mean "anything but" neoconserve vt: to squander <creating ZIP codes for Iraq is a great way to neoconserve taxpayer money> Palestinians n: a group that arose ex nihilo in 1948 to exploit Israeli hospitality PATRIOT Act n: an attempt to use a Puerile Acronym To Render Innocent an Odious & Tyrannical law (see also VICTORY ACT) patriotic adj: 1 American usage: idolizing Tony Blair, Rupert Murdoch, and Ariel Sharon 2: professing certainty about the moral, intellectual, and aesthetic supremacy of one's own nation-state over all others, a universal tendency plame vt, often cap: to make a pink slip of the tongue quagmire n: a word of indeterminate meaning; all that is certain is that it has nothing to do with open-ended military and financial commitments Republican n: a creature whose rationality fluctuates in inverse proportion to its power revisionist n: one who exposes fraud after the statute of limitations has passed Seoul n: the Far East's diamond in the rough, on the verge of radiant lifelessness thanks to the doctrine of preemption terrorism n: in Texas cuisine, a reified boon for hungry defense contractors treason n: the role-play transgression of choice for right-wing S & M enthusiasts UNESCO n: 1 archaic: a misuse of tax dollars 2: a missed use of tax dollars uranium n: a radioactive element whose half-life may turn out to be considerably longer than 16 words virility n: a quality associated with transatlantic taunting, sometimes in costume weapons of mass destruction (WMD) n: 1 : the term for all weapons that exist or are believed to exist outside the borders of the United States 2 : ammunition for Teleprompters yellowcake n: a West African confection known for its bitter, lingering aftertaste zilch n: a gateway quantity <the search for WMD has turned up zilch, thus demonstrating that Iraq could have increased its stock of WMD> ~ Matthew Barganierantiwar.com