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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: rudedog who wrote (29580)	10/19/2003 10:34:08 PM
From: rudedog	Respond to of 62549

an oldie but a goodie... Bush v. Gore In 2000, the two major party presidential candidates agreed that Americans are seeing too much inappropriate material in popular entertainment. However, they disagreed on the details... The Republican candidate, George W Bush, stated that there is too much bloody violence in the movies and on television. Vice President Al Gore, his Democratic opponent, stated meanwhile that the media present Americans with too much sex and frontal nudity. In other words, Bush says there is too much gore, and Gore says there is too much bush.

To: rudedog who wrote (29580)	10/20/2003 2:55:09 AM
From: Guardian	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

your post was indeed much funnier than mine (which by the way i did not write), perhaps because it is closer to truth <g> g

To: rudedog who wrote (29580)	10/21/2003 1:22:25 AM
From: honjohn007	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62549

Subject: 1st Grader Too smart for the 1st grade! A 1st grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what is your problem? Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!" Ms. Brooks had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office. While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed. Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test. Principal: "What is 3 x 3?" Harry: "9" Principal: "What is 6 x 6?" Harry: "36" And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know. The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade." Ms. Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions." The principal and Harry both agreed. Ms. Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?" Harry, after a moment: "Legs." Ms. Brooks: "What do you have in your pants that I do not have in mine?" The principal wondered, why does she ask such a question? Harry replied: "Pockets." Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?" Harry: "Pants" Ms. Brooks: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid? Harry: "Coconut" Ms. Brooks: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky? The principal's eyes open re all! y wide and before he could stop the answer. Harry:"Bubble gum" Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down and a dog do on three legs?" The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer. Harry: "Shake hands" Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?" Harry: "Firetruck" The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong."