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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: David Lawrence who wrote (29582)	10/20/2003 2:01:33 AM
From: rudedog	Respond to of 62549

re: "Occupation: Writer" I was about to say 'Don't quit your day job' but oops, it IS his day job<G> But let's not let Arnold off the hook... "Arnold Schwarzenegger is now governor of California. He is a very shrewd man — he already has all of his sex scandals behind him." —David Letterman "President Bush called Arnold to congratulate him today, and after he got off the phone, Arnold said, 'I thought my English was bad.'" —Jay Leno "Six women have come forward that say Arnold Schwarzenegger groped them without their consent. This proves he would be a hands-on governor." —Jay Leno "Today, the L.A. Times accused Arnold Schwarzenegger of groping six women. I'm telling ya, this guy is presidential material." —David Letterman "Arnold Schwarzenegger is in some trouble. Today, the Los Angeles Times broke a story that quoted six women who claimed that Arnold Schwarzenegger sexually harassed them. When asked about it, President Clinton said 'six? That's not enough experience to be governor.'" —Conan O'Brien "All the other candidates are jumping on this. Like today, Cruz Bustamante said that during the debate he caught Arnold staring at his cleavage." —Jay Leno "It looks like it's going to be Arnold Schwarzenegger or Gray Davis. You got a robot from the future or a robot with no future." —Jay Leno "Arnold was on the 'Today' show today, he was a little light on specifics. He said he could solve California's $38 billion budget deficit, without cutting spending or raising taxes because there was a third way. What is it? Let's just say it involves a robot going back in time to convince Gray Davis to go into dentistry." —Bill Maher "People here in Los Angeles are disgusted now about a sex scandal involving Arnold Schwarzenegger. Apparently for seven years, he carried on a sexual relationship with his own wife." —Craig Kilborn "Apparently Arnold was inspired by President Bush, who proved you can be a successful politician in this country even if English is your second language." —Conan O'Brien "They're saying Arnold will get 95% of the vote. At least according to his brother, Jeb Schwarzenegger." —Craig Kilborn "California is choosing between the lesser of, uh, 300 evils." —Jon Stewart "I went to see the Terminator movie the other night. Every time Arnold Schwarzenegger came on the screen this guy in front of me went 'Booo! Booo!' and was throwing stuff. I had to say 'Governor Davis just shut up and sit down!'" —Jay Leno