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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: honjohn007 who wrote (29632)	10/26/2003 11:15:39 PM
From: honjohn007	Respond to of 62549

KIDS IN GRADE SCHOOL THINK FAST TEACHER: Why are you late? WEBSTER: Because of the sign. TEACHER: What sign? WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow." _____________ TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your math multiplication On the floor? CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables! _____________ TEACHER: John, how do you spell "crocodile?" JOHN: K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L" TEACHER: No, that's wrong JOHN: Maybe it s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it! _____________ TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water? SARAH: H I J K L M N O!! TEACHER: What are you talking about? SARAH: Yesterday you said it's H to O! ______________ TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America. GEORGE: Here it is! TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America? CLASS: George! ______________ TEACHER: Willie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have 100 years ago. WILLIE: Me! ______________ TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty? TOMMY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are. ______________ TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I." ELLEN: I is... TEACHER: No, Ellen..... Always say, "I am." ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet." ____________ TEACHER: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?" JOHNNY: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time." _____________ TEACHER: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?" JOHNNY: "Because George still had the ax in his hand." ______________ TEACHER: Now, Sam, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating? SAM: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook. _______________ TEACHER: ! Desmond, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? DESMOND: No, teacher, it's the same dog! ______________ TEACHER: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? PUPIL: A teacher. ______________ SILVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark? FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write? SYLVIA: Your name on this report card.