Political Insults by Politicians & Writers
Politicians
History buffs probably noted the reunion at a Washington party a few weeks ago of three ex-presidents: Carter, Ford, and Nixon -- See No Evil, Hear No Evil, and Evil.
- - - Robert J. Dole, speech, 1983
George Bush
A pin-stripin' polo-playin' umbrella-totin' Ivy-leaguer, born with a silver spoon so far in his mouth that you couldn't get it out with a crowbar.
- - - Bill Baxley (about George Bush)
He can't help it - he was born with a silver foot in his mouth.
- - - Ann Richards (about George Bush)
He' a Boy Scout with a hormone imbalance.
- - - Kevin Phillips (about George Bush)
If ignorance ever goes to $40 a barrel, I want drilling rights on George Bush's head.
- - - Jim Hightower, 1988
Jimmy Carter
He is your typical smiling, brilliant, back-stabbing, bullshitting southern nut-cutter.
- - - Lane Kirkland (about Jimmy Carter)
Winston Churchill
He has devoted the best years of his life to preparing his impromptu speeches.
- - - F. E. Smith (about Winston Churchill)
He is a man suffering from petrified adolescence.
- - - Aneurin Bevan (about Winston Churchill)
He would kill his own mother just so that he could use her skin to make a drum to beat his own praises.
- - - Margot Asquith (about Winston Churchill)
I thought he was a young man of promise; but it appears he was a young man of promises.
- - - Arthur Balfour (about Winston Churchill)
Winston has devoted the best years of his life to preparing his impromptu speeches.
- - - F. E. Smith (about Winston Churchill)
Bill Clinton
Bill Clinton's foreign policy experience is pretty much confined to having had breakfast once at the International House of Pancakes.
- - - Pat Buchanan
I'm just sick and tired of presidents who jog. Remember, if Bill Clinton wins, we're going to have another four years of his white thighs flapping in the wind.
- - - Arianna Huffington, 1995
When I was president, I said I was a Ford, not a Lincoln. Well what we have now is a convertible Dodge.
- - - Gerald Ford (about Bill Clinton, 1996)
President Clinton apparently gets so much action that every couple of weeks they have to spray WD-40 on his zipper.
- - - David Letterman, 1998
Clinton is a man who thinks international affairs means dating a girl from out of town.
- - - Tom Clancy, 1998
Bob Dole
When he does smile, he looks as if he's just evicted a widow.
- - - Mike Royko (about Bob Dole, 1988)
Gerald Ford
Hark, when Gerald Ford was king--
We were bored with everything.
Unemployment 6 percent,
What a boring president.
Nothing major needed fixin'
So he pardoned Richard Nixon.
- - - Bill Strauss and Eliana Newport, 1982
He is so dumb he can't fart and chew gum at the same time.
- - - Lyndon Baines Johnson (about Gerald Ford)
He's a nice guy, but he played too much football with his helmet off.
- - - Lyndon Baines Johnson (about Gerald Ford)
Lyndon Baines Johnson
He turned out to be so many different characters he could have populated all of War and Peace and still had a few people left over.
- - - Herbert Mitgang (about Lyndon Baines Johnson, 1980)
Richard Nixon
Avoid all needle drugs - the only dope worth shooting is Richard Nixon.
- - - Abbie Hoffman (1971)
He bleeds people. He draws every drop of blood and then drops them from a cliff. He'll blame any person he can put his foot on.
- - - Martha Mitchell (about Richard M. Nixon, 1973)
He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by diligent hard work, he overcame them.
- - - James Reston (about Richard Nixon)
He is a shifty-eyed goddamn liar....He's one of the few in the history of this country to run for high office talking out of both sides of his mouth at the same time and lying out of both sides.
- - - Harry S Truman (about Richard M. Nixon, 1978)
He was like a kamikaze pilot who keeps apologizing for the attack.
- - - Mary McGrory (about Richard M. Nixon, 1962)
Here is a guy who's had a stake driven through his heart. I mean, really nailed to the bottom of the coffin with a wooden stake, and a silver bullet through the forehead for good measure -- and yet he keeps coming back.
- - - Ted Koppel (about Richard M. Nixon, 1984)
I may not know much, but I know chicken shit from chicken salad.
- - - Lyndon B. Johnson (about a speech by Richard M. Nixon)
I worship the quicksand he walks in.
- - - Art Buchwald (about Richard Nixon)
Nixon's motto was: If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.
- - - Norman Cousins (about Richard M. Nixon)
Sir Richard-the-Chicken-Hearted.
- - - Hubert H. Humphrey (about Richard M. Nixon)
Dan Quayle
Dan Quayle is more stupid than Ronald Reagan put together.
- - - Matt Groening, 1993
If life were fair, Dan Quayle would be making a living asking, "Do you want fries with that?"
- - - John Cleese
Ronald Reagan
A triumph of the embalmer's art.
- - - Gore Vidal (about Ronald Reagan)
Compared to the Clintons, Reagan is living proof that a Republican with half a brain is better than a Democrat with two.
- - - P.J. O'Rourke,1997
He doesn't die his hair - he's just prematurely orange.
- - - Gerald Ford (about Ronald Reagan)
He doesn't die his hair, he bleaches his face.
- - - Johnny Carson (about Ronald Reagan)
He has a chance to make somebody move over on Mount Rushmore. He's working for his place on the coins and the postage stamps.
- - - Henry Graff (about Ronald Reagan, 1985)
I believe that Ronald Reagan will someday make this country what it once was... an arctic wilderness.
- - - Steve Martin
I think Nancy does most of his talking; you'll notice that she never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
- - - Robin Williams (about Ronald Reagan)
In the heat of a political lifetime, he innocently squirrels away tidbits of misinformation and then, sometimes years later, casually drops them into his public discourse, like gum balls in a quiche.
- - - Lucy Howard (about Ronald Reagan 1985)
People say satire is dead. It's not dead; it's alive and living in the White House. He makes a Macy's Thanksgiving Day float look ridiculous. I think he's slowly but surely regressing into movies again. In his mind he's looking at dailies, playing dailies over and over.
- - - Robin Williams (about Ronald Reagan, 1988)
The youthful sparkle in his eyes is caused by his contact lenses, which he keeps highly polished.
- - - Sheila Graham (about Ronald Reagan)
Washington could not tell a lie; Nixon could not tell the truth; Reagan cannot tell the difference.
- - - Mort Sahl |
