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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: TigerPaw who wrote (29819)	11/17/2003 6:48:33 PM
From: Doug Coughlan	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62558

The other night I was invited out for a night with "the girls". I told my husband that I would be home by midnight....I promise!" Well, the hours passed and the champagne was going down way too easy. Around 3 a.m., drunk as a skunk, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, realizing he'd probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution (even when smashed), in order to escape a possible conflict with him. The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I told him 12 o'clock. He didn't seem disturbed at all. Whew! Got away with that one! Then he said "We need a new cuckoo clock". When I asked him why, he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said 'Oh Shit!', cuckooed 4 more times, cleared it's throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed 2 more times and then farted."

To: TigerPaw who wrote (29819)	11/17/2003 8:12:53 PM
From: William H Huebl	Respond to of 62558

Sounds real to me? BWDIK?

To: TigerPaw who wrote (29819)	11/18/2003 12:21:53 AM
From: Selectric II	Respond to of 62558

Looks like you started happy hour early today, again, eh, TP?

To: TigerPaw who wrote (29819)	11/18/2003 9:59:55 AM
From: David Lawrence	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62558

What's the matter, TP? Can't make an intelligent case on the political threads, so you resort to posting your rhetorical nonsense here? Take it elsewhere! O.J. Today is my daughters 18th birthday... I'm so glad that this is my last damn child support payment. Month after month, year after year, those damn payments! So I called my baby girl to come over to my house, and when she got here, I said to her, "Baby girl, I want you to take this last check over to your mother's house and tell her that this is the last damn check she's ever going to get from me, and I want you to tell me the expression on her face. So my baby girl took the check over to her. I was so anxious to hear what the bitch had to say and the expression on her face. As my baby girl walked through the door, I said, "Now what did she have to say?" "She told me to tell you that you ain't my daddy."