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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Joe Lyddon who wrote (30073)	12/11/2003 6:29:17 PM
From: Guardian	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 62552

Some of these you have seen but some may be new - enjoy! On a Septic Tank Truck sign: "We're #1 in the #2 business." ************************ Sign over a Gynecologist's Office: "Dr. Jones, at your cervix." ********************** At a Proctologist's door "To expedite your visit please back in." ********************** On a Plumber's truck: "We repair what your husband fixed." ********************** On a Plumber's truck: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.." ********************** Pizza Shop Slogan: "7 days without pizza makes one weak." ********************** At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee: "Invite us to your next blowout." ********************** On a Plastic Surgeon's Office door: "Hello. Can we pick your nose?" ********************** At a Towing company: "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows." ********************** On an Electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts." ********************** In a Nonsmoking Area: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action." ********************** On a Maternity Room door: "Push. Push. Push." ********************** At an Optometrist's Office "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place." ********************** On a Taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff." ********************** In a Podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels." ********************** On a Fence: "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive." ********************** At a Car Dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet -- miss a car payment." ********************** Outside a Muffler Shop: "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming." ********************** In a Veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!" ********************** At the Electric Company: "We would be delighted if you send in your payment. However, if you don't, you will be." ********************** In a Restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up." ********************** In the front yard of a Funeral Home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait." ********************** At a Propane Filling Station, "Thank heaven for little grills." ************************ And don't forget the sign at a Chicago Radiator Shop: "Best place in town to take a leak." "They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - Benjamin Franklin, 1759