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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Cooters who wrote (30503)	1/31/2004 8:38:09 PM
From: Neeka	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62562

I'm heading for a Holiday Inn NOW! NO NURSING HOME FOR ME! With the average cost for a Nursing Home per day reaching $200.00 in the USA, there is a better way when we get old & feeble. I have already checked on reservations at the Holiday Inn for a combined long term stay discount and senior discount of $49.23 per night. That leaves $138.77 a day for: 1. Breakfast, lunch and dinner in any restaurant I want, or room service. 2. Laundry, gratuities and special TV movies. Plus, they provide a swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge, washer, dryer, etc. Most have free toothpaste and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap. 3. They treat you like a customer, not a patient. 4. $5 worth of tips a day will have the entire staff scrambling to help you. 5. There is a city Bus stop out front, and seniors ride free. The Handicap bus will also pick you up (if you fake a decent limp). 6. To meet other nice people, call a Church bus on Sundays. 7. For a change of scenery, take the Airport shuttle Bus and eat at one of the nice restaurants there. While you're at the airport, fly somewhere. Otherwise, the cash keeps building up. 8. It takes months to get into decent nursing homes. Holiday Inn will take your reservation today. And you are not stuck in one place forever, you can move from Inn to Inn, or even from city to city. Want to see Hawaii? They have a Holiday Inn there too. 9. They fix everything, and apologize for the inconvenience. The Inn has a night security person and daily room service. The maid checks to see if you are okay. If not, they will call the undertaker or an ambulance. 10. If you fall and break a hip, Medicare will pay for the hip, and Holiday Inn will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life. And no worries about visits from family. They will always be glad to find you, and probably check in for a few days mini vacation. The grandkids can use the pool. What more can you ask for? 11. Free Internet hookup at most locations, even high speed at some. 12. So: When I reach the Golden age I'll face it with a grin. Just forward all my email to: me@Holiday.Inn. NO NURSING HOME FOR ME! >>