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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: sandintoes who wrote (30832)	3/3/2004 1:34:26 AM
From: sandintoes	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 62567

You might be a redneck if... You don't think Jeff's Foxworthy's jokes are funny. Every time you see a roadsign that says "DIP" you reach in your back pocket. You've ever had Thanksgiving dinner on a Ping-Pong table. You have to throw down a rope ladder to get out of your truck. You have to hit the dashboard in your truck to get the lights and radio to work. The tires on your pick-up are taller than your children. The duct tape on your car seat sticks to your butt when you get out. You think "dual airbags" refers to your wife and mother-in-law. Shopping for dinner involves an orange vest. Your school dress code contains the line "Shoes Optional". You've ever worn hunter's orange to church. You have barnyard animals living in your house. Every pair of jeans you own has a tobacco can ring worn in one of the rear pockets. Your truck has a bumper sticker that reads, "Gun control is a steady hand." Your wife has ever torn her hose on the boogers stuck under the front of the pickup seat. You have ever had a special loaded gun by the back door only for use on possums. You have ever shot a possum on your porch. You don't use a garbage service because it must be placed up near the mail box and you can't see far enough thru the trees to shoot the neighbors' dogs when they get into it. You only go to the dump when you have enough to fill up the pickup. You have more than 500 rounds of ammunition in your house....not including 22 caliber.