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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Guardian who wrote (30870)	3/6/2004 5:59:40 PM
From: Guardian	Respond to of 62581

1. Mosquito repellents don't repel. They hide you. The spray blocks the mosquito's sensors so they don't know you're there. > >2. Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least 6 feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush. (I keep my toothbrush in the living room now.) > >3. The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as substitute for blood plasma. > >4. No piece of paper can be folded in half more than 7 times. > >5. Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes. > >6. You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television. > >7. Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty years of age or older. > >8. The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum. > >9. The king of hearts is the only king without a mustache. > >10. A Boeing 747's wingspan is longer than the Wright brother's first flight. > >11. The wingspan of the B-36, a retired USAF bomber, was twice as long. > >12. American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating 1 olive from each salad served in first-class. > >13. Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise. > >14. Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning. > >15. The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets. > >16. Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin. > >17. The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer. So did the first 'Marlboro Man'. > >18. Barbie! 's full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts. > >19. Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than all of the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined. > >20. Marilyn Monroe had six toes. > >21. All US Presidents have worn glasses. Some just didn't like being seen wearing them in public. > >22. Walt Disney was afraid of mice. > >23. Pearls melt in vinegar. > >24. Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married. > >25. The three most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca Cola, and Budweiser, in that order. > >26. It is possible to lead a cow upstairs...but not downstairs. > >27. A duck's quack doesn't echo and no! one knows why. > >28. The reason firehouses have circular stairways is from the days when the engines were pulled by horses. The horses were stabled on the ground floor and figured out how to walk up straight staircases. > >29. Richard Millhouse Nixon was the first US president whose name contains all the letters from the word "criminal." The second? William Jefferson Clinton. > >And, the best for last..... > >30. Turtles can breathe through their butts. > >Now, Who looks this stuff up?