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Pastimes : Laughter is the Best Medicine - Tell us a joke -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: Jagfan who wrote (31576)5/27/2004 3:40:12 PM
From: Jagfan  Respond to of 62558
 
When Mozart passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Mozart was buried.
Terrified, the drunk ran and got the town magistrate to come and listen to it.

When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, "Ah, yes, that's Mozart's Ninth Symphony, being played backwards."

He listened a while longer, and said, "There's the Eighth Symphony, and it's backwards, too. Most puzzling."

So the magistrate kept listening; "There's the Seventh... the Sixth... the Fifth..."

Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate; he stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, "My fellow citizens, there's nothing to worry about. It's just Mozart decomposing."



To: Jagfan who wrote (31576)5/27/2004 6:38:47 PM
From: Doug Coughlan  Respond to of 62558
 
A guy falls asleep on the beach for several hours and gets a horrible
sunburn. He goes to the hospital and is promptly admitted after being
diagnosed with second degree burns.

With his skin already starting to blister and the severe pain he was
in, the doctor prescribes continuous intravenous feeding with saline,
electrolytes, a sedative, and a Viagra pill every four hours.

The nurse who is rather astounded, says, "What good will Viagra do him Doctor?

"It'll keep the sheets off his legs."