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Pastimes : The Non-Political Joke Thread -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: mph who wrote (96)	7/15/2004 9:03:24 PM
From: Lady Lurksalot	Respond to of 1755

"Doctor, Doctor, You've got to help me - I just can't stop my hands shaking!" "Do you drink a lot?" "Not really - I spill most of it!"

To: mph who wrote (96)	7/16/2004 2:40:26 PM
From: Lazarus_Long	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 1755

Thread's losing focus. It's drifting off lawyer jokes. :-) A man is sitting at a bar one night, wearing a fancy new watch, covered with buttons and lights and dials. The woman next to him says, "Wow, that's a really fancy watch." Thanks, says the guy, "It's the cutting edge of technology. I can telepathically ask this watch anything I want to know, and it'll answer me, telepathically." "Rubbish," says the girl. "No, it's true," says that guy. "Look, tell you what, I'll prove it. I'll ask it if you've got any panties on." The guy scrunches up his eyes for a moment, as if concentrating hard to talk to his watch, then opens them and says, "Nope, it says you haven't got any panties on." "Well, it's wrong," says the girl, "I do have panties on." "Damn," says the guy, slapping his watch, "it's an hour fast!"