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Pastimes : The Non-Political Joke Thread -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: mph who wrote (111)	7/16/2004 6:34:05 PM
From: Augustus Gloop	Respond to of 1755

LMAO A woman sets out to play 9 holes. As she is walking to the second tee she gets stung by a bee. She decides to go back to the Clubhouse where the Golf Pro says, "Why are you back already?" She replied "I got stung by a bee." The Pro asks "where?" And she replies "between the first and second hole." He says "that explains it - your stance is too wide."

To: mph who wrote (111)	7/18/2004 5:46:54 PM
From: Rainy_Day_Woman	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 1755

These aliens land in this farmers field and they go in and start talking to the farmer and his wife. After a while, they decide to swap sex partners for the night. So, the human man and the alien woman go in one room, and the alien man and the human woman go in another room. The alien man and human woman are about to get frisky when she looks at him and says, "Gosh...it's so big!" "If you like," replies the alien, "you can make it bigger by pulling on my ears." So, she pulls on his ears and, bing, it gets bigger. The next morning the aliens leave and the human couple are talking. "Well, honey," says the husband, "how was it?" "I just have to tell you," she says with a faraway wistful look in her eyes, "it was the best I've ever had. How 'bout you, was it good? "It wasn't worth a damn," he says. "That bitch was trying to pull my ears off all night long!"