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Pastimes : The Non-Political Joke Thread -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Jagfan who wrote (136)	7/26/2004 9:47:11 PM
From: Lazarus_Long	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 1755

You might be a redneck if ..... You think fast food is hitting a possum at 65 mph. You can get dog hair from out of your belly button. You have a bumper sticker that says, "MY MOTHER'S AN HONOR STUDENT AT SOUTH LITTLE ROCK JR. HIGH." You take a six-pack cooler to church. Your family tree has no forks. You have refused to watch the Academy Awards since "Smokey and the Bandit" was snubbed for best picture. You had to remove a toothpick for your wedding pictures. You use a weedeater in your living room. You consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison. You have a rag for a gas cap. The blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it. The third grade teacher says little Bubba could be a mathematical genius because he's got thirteen fingers. Fifth grade was the best six years of your life. You have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge. A seven course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack. One of your kids was born on a pool table. You have spray painted your girlfriend's name on an overpass. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand. Someone asks to see your ID and you show them your belt buckle. Your dad walks you to school because you are both in the same grade.