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Pastimes : The Non-Political Joke Thread -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Lazarus_Long who wrote (201)	7/29/2004 12:39:29 PM
From: Lady Lurksalot	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 1755

Laz, seems I hit the mother lode! Here are some more, with more to come. <g> - holly@gearingup.com ----- Engineering Revisited Any circuit design must contain at least one part which is obsolete, two parts which are unobtainable and three parts which are still under development. Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget. A failure will not appear till a unit has passed final inspection. If you can't fix it -- document it. The primary function of the design engineer is to make things difficult for the fabricator and impossible for the serviceman.

To: Lazarus_Long who wrote (201)	7/29/2004 12:49:34 PM
From: Lady Lurksalot	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 1755

How many first year engineering students does it take to change a light bulb? None. That's a second year subject. How many second year engineering students does it take to change a light bulb? One, but the rest of the class copies the report. How many third year engineering students does it take to change a light bulb? "Will this question be in the final examination?" How many civil engineers does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to do it and one to steady the chandelier. How many electrical engineers does it take to change a light bulb? None. They simply redefine darkness as the industry standard. How many computer engineers does it take to change a light bulb? "Why bother? The socket will be obsolete in six months anyway." How many mechanical engineers does it take to change a light bulb? Five. One to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, one to calculate the force required, one to design a tool with which to turn the bulb, one to design a comfortable - but functional - hand grip, and one to use all this equipment. How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb? Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.