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Pastimes : The Non-Political Joke Thread -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Lazarus_Long who wrote (203)	7/29/2004 12:46:29 PM
From: Lady Lurksalot	Respond to of 1755

You Might Be an Engineer if... your favorite James Bond character is "Q". you see a good design and still have to change it. you still own a slide rule and you know how to use it. your family haven't the foggiest idea what you do at work. in college you thought Spring Break was metal fatigue failure. you have modified your can-opener to be microprocessor driven. you are better with a Karnaugh map than you are with a street map. you think the real heroes of "Apollo 13" were the mission controllers. you take a cruise so you can go on a personal tour of the engine room. you think "cuddling" is simply an unproductive application of heat exchange you have owned a calculator with no equal key and know what RPN stands for. you make four sets of drawings (with seven revisions) before making a bird bath. you have trouble writing anything unless the paper has horizontal and vertical lines. your ideal evening consists of fast-forwarding through the latest sci-fi movie looking for technical inaccuracies. you think the value of a book is directly proportionate to the amount of tables, charts and graphs it contains.

To: Lazarus_Long who wrote (203)	7/29/2004 9:12:55 PM
From: Lady Lurksalot	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 1755

You Might Be a Programmer if... you lust for O'Reilly books. you know that "goto considered harmful". you are looking for the "else" at the end of this joke. you believe that making a wrong program worse is no sin. every combination of three letters is a meaningful acronym for you. when you are counting objects, you go "0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,A,B,C,D...". you can remember seventeen computer passwords but not your anniversary. you are sure that the year 2000 is a leap year, and know why it is dangerous. you start laughing hysterically when the topic of computer reliability is brought up. you go to balance your checkbook and discover that you're doing the math in hexadecimal. the language you are best speaking is English, but the language you are best writing is Java. on vacation, you are reading a computer manual and turning the pages faster than everyone else who is reading John Grisham novels.