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Pastimes : The Non-Political Joke Thread -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Lady Lurksalot who wrote (243)	7/31/2004 3:40:46 PM
From: Lazarus_Long	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 1755

Madam, any engineer who cannot correctly do simple arithmetic in his head will not survive engineering school. I know some find this an amazing concept, but some of us can add, subtract, multiply, and divide. =============================================================== For three years, the young attorney had been taking his brief vacations at this country inn. The last time he'd finally managed an affair with the innkeeper's daughter. Looking forward to an exciting few days, he dragged his suitcase up the stairs of the inn, then stopped short. There sat his lover with an infant on her lap! "Helen, why didn't you write when you learned you were pregnant?" he cried. "I would have rushed up here, we could have gotten married, and the baby would have my name!" "Well," she said, "when my folks found out about my condition, we sat up all night talkin' and talkin' and decided it would be better to have a bastard in the family than a lawyer."

To: Lady Lurksalot who wrote (243)	8/3/2004 1:56:08 AM
From: ManyMoose	Respond to of 1755

OH, I don't know, it proved that the Advertiser was the best mathematician since he got the right answer. Nine is divisible by three, therefore it's not prime. Sadly, this is NOT a joke. My daughter once taught school in Las Vegas. She observed the math/gym teacher explaining that there were RIGHT angles and LEFT angles, and then correctly identified a right angle as one with 90 degrees. She didn't know how many degrees a left angle had. When teaching gym, the teacher taught from a folding chair on the gym floor since she was unable to stand for the duration of the class. My daughter asked one of her little Hispanic kids (second grade) how she could say "Recess is over" in Spanish. "Bese mi culo" was his answer. "Thank you very much," she said. Then she thought better of using her new knowledge before checking with a Hispanic teacher. . . . . . . . . . . . Alta Vista Translation: Kiss my a$$