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Pastimes : The Non-Political Joke Thread -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: arno who wrote (280)	8/3/2004 6:14:56 PM
From: mph	Respond to of 1755

lol

To: arno who wrote (280)	8/3/2004 11:04:32 PM
From: Lazarus_Long	Respond to of 1755

Speak for yourself, buddy! What is loaded on a rednecks 'puter - Their No. 1 product would be "Microsoft Winders". - Instead of an hourglass icon you'd get an empty beer bottle. - Occasionally, you'd bring up a window that was covered with a Hefty bag and some duct tape. - Instead of "Yes", "No", or "Cancel", dialog boxes would give you the choice of "Aww-right", "Naw", or "Git". - Instead of "Ta-Da!", the opening sound would be "Dueling Banjos". - The "Recycle Bin" in Winders95 would be an outhouse. - Whenever you pulled up the Sound Player, you'd hear "Freebird!" - Instead of "Start Me Up", the Winders95 theme song would be "Boot Scootin' Boogie". - Powerpoint would be named "ParPawnt". - Instead of "VP", Microsoft big shots would be called "Cuz". - Hardware could be repaired using parts from an old Trans Am. - Daisy Duke screen saver. - Flight Simulator replaced by Tractor-Pull Simulator. - Microsoft CEO "Billy- Bob" (a.k.a. "Bubba") Gates. - "ParPawnt" would have a "Pond Scum" and a "Junk Yard" presentation template. - One wrong turn while surfing the web would send you face to face with a 12 gauge shotgun. - "This computer protected by Smith and Wesson" screen saver. - Directions to Corporate Headquarters - "Down the road a block or so". - Microsoft Word includes a phonetic spell checker- "Hookt on fonics werkt 4 me"