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Pastimes : The Non-Political Joke Thread -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Jagfan who wrote (345)	8/9/2004 1:56:29 PM
From: Jagfan	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 1755

A young polar bear walks up to his dad one day and asks, “Dad, am I a pure polar bear—you know, not part black bear, brown bear, or grizzly bear?” “Why no, son. You come from a long line of proud and strong polar bears. Why do you ask?” “Because I’m fuckin’ cold.”

To: Jagfan who wrote (345)	8/9/2004 2:10:37 PM
From: Oral Roberts	Respond to of 1755

Two brothers, John and Richard lived in the same town. John with his 12 year old cat, Richard with their 88 year old Mother. John's whole life was his cat. He never went anywhere without her. One day he was faced with a terrible decision. He had to go to England on business for his company and he could not take the cat into England with having to quarantine her for 14 days. He wouldn't do that so he was faced with either losing his job or leaving his cat. Finally he decided to trust his brother with the cat for the week he would be gone. He gave Richard detailed instructions, schedules, food, etc. Finally he flew to London and called Richard every few hours to make sure Gracie the cat was ok. 4 days of this went by and John was really getting to be a pain in the neck. On the fifth day when he called, John asked Richard how Gracie was and Richard told him. "Gracie is dead!" Well as you can imagine, John nearly had a heart attack. When he recovered he said to Richard, "that was the most cruel thing I ever heard. You know how much I loved that cat, why couldn't you have broken it to me gently. You know like when I called said something like, 'well she's OK but she is up on the roof.' And then when I called the next time, tell me 'oh oh, bad news, she fell off the roof and she's at the vets'. And then the next time break the news that she passed away. At least I would have been a little prepared for the bad news." "Yes, you are right John. I am sorry for being so heartless." John accepted Richard's apology for being so uncaring, and then said, "oh, by the way, how's Mother?" Richard then said, "well, John, she's OK, but she's on the roof!"