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Pastimes : The Non-Political Joke Thread -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: ManyMoose who wrote (372)	8/11/2004 8:37:39 AM
From: Jagfan	Respond to of 1755

Names Art, I'm a museum curator. Chuck, I'm a butcher. Gene, I'm a DNA researcher. Curt and Rod, we are in the drapery business. Will, I'm a lawyer. Sue. I'm also a lawyer. Mary. I'm a justice of the peace. Phillip, I'm a service station attendant. Bill. I run a collection agency Grant, I would be a loan officer. Bill. I run a collection agency. Mike. I'm an announcer Toni. I'm a hair dresser. Gail. I'm a meteorologist John. I'm a plumber Herb. I'm a cook. Stu. I also cook. Wade, I'm in swimming pool maintenance. Rob. I'm a thief. Woody. A Forester. Les I'm a dietician Harry. I'm a barber. Iris. I'm an optomotrist Teddy I'm in lingerie Carol. I sing during the holidays. Bea. I'm in the honey business.. Hugh. I'm a painter. Jim I train boxers Brigham I'm a chauffeur Dean A college chancellor Nat and Bea. We are entomologist2 Bud. I'm in flowers. And I'm Rose. I'm a gardener. Clarence, I specialize in end-of-season inventory closeout sales. Manuel, I write intruction books. Ruby and Pearl. We're jewelers. Marshall. I'm a peace officier. Gil. I'm a fisherman. Avery. I raise birds. Cliff. I'm a mountaineer. Sherry. I'm a wine-master. Cary. I'm a porter. Barry. I'm an undertaker. Chevy and Mercedes. We are car dealers. Abbie. I'm a Mother Superior. Belle. I play the carillon. Candy. I'm a confectioner. Jack. I'm a banker. Dick. I'm a plain-clothes policeman. Bet. I'm a coupier. Leo. A lion trainer. Ham. I raise pigs Otto. I'm a car mechanic. Herald. I'm a messenger. Ray. I'm a roentgenologist. Faith. I'm a minister. Bart. I drive a bus. Frank, the Hot-Dog vendor Holly, I'm a holiday decorator Shelly, I'm an expert on mollusks Rich, A successful investment banker. Brooks. I'm an irrrigation consultant. Tom. I bred cats. Lute. I'm a musician. Tellie. A gossip columnist Victor, and I'm a winner in everything I do.

To: ManyMoose who wrote (372)	8/11/2004 7:58:20 PM
From: haqihana	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 1755

hman, Englishman and a German are caught in Saudi Arabia drinking. "Under Saudi law you are sentenced to 30 lashes then deported. Before you begin you are entitled to something on your back, what would you like?" said the prison guard to the Englishman just before lashing him. The English man, being a bit of a cricket fan, asked for linseed oil. When they lashed him on a post and let him go to catch his flight back to London he groaned and crawled to the airport. Next came the German. "Under Saudi law you are sentenced to 30 lashes then deported. Before you begin you are entitled to something on your back, what would you like?" said the prison guard "Nothing" said the German and, after receiving his lashes spat on the ground, called the prison guards Schisers and started off towards the airport. The guards then came to the Irishman. "Under Saudi law you are sentenced to 30 lashes then deported. Before you begin you are entitled to something on your back, what would you like?" "Oh", replied the Irishman, "I'll take the German".