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Politics : Proof that John Kerry is Unfit for Command -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: American Spirit who wrote (1561)	8/20/2004 12:11:42 PM
From: Andrew N. Cothran	Respond to of 27181

'SAME OLD SAME OLD' SEX MARRIAGE OUTLAWED, KINKY SEX MADE MANDATORY 02/26/04 WASHINGTON, DC In a desperate attempt to save the institution of traditional 'one man, one woman' marriage, the US Constitution has been amended to make kinky sex mandatory for all married Americans. President George Bush rammed the newest amendment through Congress and all fifty state legislatures this morning without opposition from a single lawmaker, marking the quickest climax to a Constitutional crisis in the nation's history. (RealStory @ voiceofamerica.com) "I'm very proud of how quickly this issue came to a head," the president gushed before retiring to the White House's private living quarters for a nooner. The new amendment, which will be enforced by the newly formed Department of Homeland Sodomy, comes on the spiked heels of a survey indicating that virtually 100% of the traditional marriages in the US suffer from 'Same Old Same Old' Syndrome, a state of profound boredom with five-minute missionary style intercourse. "Jeez, how many times can you do the same damn thing before you start fantasizing about being (deleted) by a (deleted) while a gang of (deleteds) watches you (deleting) yourself with a (deleted)?" asked an anonymous US Attorney General's wife. "My husband (whom we'll call Jack Ashcraft to protect his identity) has absolutely no imagination and the tightest sphincter on Earth," Mrs. Ashcraft added while fanning herself with the instruction sheet from a vibrating massage device. "If I don't get some strange soon, I think I'm gonna explode." (RealStupidStory @ RealStupidNews.com) The only opposition to the amendment comes from the Global Association for Missionary Services, or GASM, whose spokesperson insisted that "if God wanted us to do it in any other position, He wouldn't have put the man on top, and He wouldn't have put the woman on her back." The latex industry is poised to penetrate lucrative new markets as a result of the new amendment, while former president Bill Clinton, who left the country just moments after it was passed, is reportedly pursuing a long-anticipated divorce from his wife, Senator Hillary Hamrod Clinton. ©2004 RealStupidNews.com EDITOR'S NOTE: We'd like to credit radio talk host Neal Boortz and his long-suffering wife, Donna, for this story idea. (RealBoorish @ boortz.com) # # # # # # # # #

To: American Spirit who wrote (1561)	8/20/2004 12:18:50 PM
From: ChinuSFO	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 27181

You did not mention about the other spoof who made an ass of himself with Chris Mathews saying that he did not have proof for his allegations and that he had heard stories second and even third hand. That a hole even could not answer why he thought he deserved the Bronze Star which he got based on a write up by Kerry but that Kerry should not get his Purple Heart based on the same write up by Kerry. Folks you know how we feel when these a holes come on TV and pollute our democratic process with such stories, the same democratic process that we are so proud of and tout to the entire world. This thread is irrelevant after the showing yesterday by one of the Swiftboat vets on Chris Mathews' show. Good Bye.