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Politics : Proof that John Kerry is Unfit for Command -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: ChinuSFO who wrote (1570)	8/20/2004 12:22:29 PM
From: Andrew N. Cothran	Respond to of 27181

ASHCROFT CAUGHT WITH PANTS DOWN 04/14/04 WASHINGTON, DC Attorney General John Ashcroft was caught with his pants down while testifying before the 9/11 commission today. Commissioner Dick Ben-Veniste was grilling the attorney general about pre-9/11 security lapses in the Justice Department when he suddenly noticed that Ashcroft's pants were down around his ankles. "Mr. Attorney General, are you aware that your pants are down around your ankles?" Ben-Veniste inquired. "My pants are not down around my ankles," Ashcroft first responded, until an aide whispered in his ear. "Actually, the Clinton administration just 'pantsed' me when you weren't looking," Ashcroft then said. "For too long we have turned a blind eye to the Clinton administration pulling down people's pants." Asked what he was doing while terrorist sleeper cells in the US were plotting the 9/11 attacks, Ashcroft detailed his hands-on management of an anti-pornography campaign that has purged the country of several copies of a couple of porn movies. "I've been closely monitoring reams and reams of the most depraved pornographic materials ever assembled in a government office, including Ted Kennedy's office," the attorney general insisted. He then stood up, straightened his thong, pulled up his pants, and left the chamber. Later in the evening, perhaps to deflect attention from Ashcroft's thong, President Bush read the nation a primetime fairy tale about a magical cowboy who transforms a fractured feudal society into a free and prosperous Democracy by June 30, 2004. ©2004 RealStupidNews.com