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Pastimes : The Non-Political Joke Thread -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Lady Lurksalot who wrote (453)	8/24/2004 10:05:58 PM
From: ManyMoose	Respond to of 1755

I suppose if the search string brought up Bartlett Pears we'd really be in trouble. Message #453 from hollander at Aug 24, 2004 9:45 PM Technology is a wonderful thing, as long as it's working properly. One problem is the human factor, which consistently proves the old maxim "garbage in, garbage out." Take, for example, the handiwork of one perverse, dyslexic, or sleepy cataloger, discovered during the course of a keyword search on ursine mating habits. The search turned up several very interesting articles on the growing and harvesting of Bartlett Bears.

To: Lady Lurksalot who wrote (453)	8/29/2004 6:25:19 PM
From: Lazarus_Long	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 1755

A young man called John invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, his mother couldn’t help but notice how handsome John’s room-mate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two & this only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between John & his room-mate than met the eye. Reading his Mum’s thoughts, John volunteered, “I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Simon & I are just room-mates.” About a week later, Simon came to John saying, “Ever since your mother came to dinner I’ve been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don’t suppose she took it, do you?” “Well, I doubt it, but I’ll email her just to be sure,” said John. So he sat down & wrote: Dear Mother, I’m not saying that you ‘did’ take the gravy ladle from my house, I’m not saying that you ‘did not’ take the gravy ladle, but the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner. Love, John Several days later John received an email from his Mother which read: Dear Son, I’m not saying that you ‘do’ sleep with Simon & I’m not saying that you ‘do not’ sleep with Simon, but the fact remains that if he was sleeping in his own bed he would have found the f*cking gravy ladle by now. Love, Mum Lesson of the day . . . . Don’t Ever Lie to Your Mother!