Silicon Investor (SI) -- The First Internet Community

STOCKTALK

We've detected that you're using an ad content blocking browser plug-in or feature. Ads provide a critical source of revenue to the continued operation of Silicon Investor. We ask that you disable ad blocking while on Silicon Investor in the best interests of our community. If you are not using an ad blocker but are still receiving this message, make sure your browser's tracking protection is set to the 'standard' level.

Pastimes : The Non-Political Joke Thread -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Lady Lurksalot who wrote (498)	9/1/2004 4:13:19 PM
From: Jagfan	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 1755

Three gay men died, and were going to be cremated. Their lovers happened to be at the funeral home at the same time, and were discussing what they planned to do with the ashes. The first man said, "My Benny loved to fly, so I'm going up in a plane and scatter his ashes in the sky." The second man said, "My Carl was a good fisherman, so I'm going to scatter his ashes in our favorite lake." The third man said, "My Jim was such a good lover, I think I'm going to dump his ashes in a pot of chili, so he can tear my ass up just one more time!"

To: Lady Lurksalot who wrote (498)	9/1/2004 4:13:47 PM
From: Jagfan	Respond to of 1755

Back in the wild west, a westbound wagon train was lost and very low on food. No other people had been seen for days. Unexpectedly, they saw an old Jewish man sitting beneath a tree. The leader rushed up to him and said, "We're lost. Is there someplace ahead where we can get food?" "Vell," the old Jewish man said, "I vould definitely NOT go over dat hill. Somevun told me you'll run into a big bacon tree." "A bacon tree!!!!?" asked the wagon train leader. "Yah, yah ah bacon tree. Trust me. For nutting vud I lie." The leader goes back and tells his people what the Jewish man had told him. "So why did he say not to go there?" some pioneers asked. "Oh, you know the Jewish folks - they don't eat bacon." So the wagon train goes up the hill and down the other side. About an hour later the leader of the wagon train returns to where the old Jewish man is sitting and enjoying his drink. He was disheveled and wounded. The near-dead man starts shouting, "You fool! You sent us to our deaths! We followed your instructions, but there was no bacon tree. Just hundreds of Indians. They killed everyone but me." The Jewish man holds up his hand and says, "oy, vait a minute, vait a minute." He gets out an English-Yiddish dictionary and begins thumbing through it. "Oh mine Gott, I made myself ah big mistake. It vuz not a bacon tree. I mant to say it vuz a ham bush!"