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Pastimes : The Non-Political Joke Thread -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: The Rabbit who wrote (577)	9/2/2004 3:07:47 PM
From: Jagfan	Respond to of 1755

Leaving the poker party, late as usual, two friends compared notes. "I can never fool my wife," the first complained. "I turn off the car’s engine and coast into the garage, take off my shoes, sneak upstairs, and undress in the bathroom. But she always wakes up and yells at me for being out so late and leaving her alone." "You’ve got the wrong technique, my friend," his buddy replied. "I roar into the garage, slam the door, stomp up the steps, rub my hand on my wife’s ass, and ask, ’How ’bout a little?’ and she pretends to be asleep."

To: The Rabbit who wrote (577)	9/2/2004 11:40:41 PM
From: ManyMoose	Respond to of 1755

I knew there had to be a practical explanation of Descartes somewhere. LOL! Message #577 from The Rabbit at Sep 2, 2004 2:10 PM I didn't get Descartes either. It comes before DeHorse.

To: The Rabbit who wrote (577)	9/8/2004 2:25:22 AM
From: Lazarus_Long	Respond to of 1755

The New York Times, among other papers, recently published a new Hubble photograph of distant galaxies colliding. Of course, astronomers have had pictures of colliding galaxies for quite some time now, but with the vastly improved resolution provided by the Hubble Space Telescope, you can actually see the lawyers rushing to the scene.

To: The Rabbit who wrote (577)	9/8/2004 2:58:52 AM
From: Lady Lurksalot	Respond to of 1755

Assmosis - The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss. Blamestorming - Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible. Seagull Manager - A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps over everything ,and then leaves. Blowing Your Buffer - Losing your train of thought. Salmon Day - The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end. Chainsaw Consultant - An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee head count, leaving the brass with clean hands. Career-Limiting Move (CLM) - Trashing your boss while he or she is within earshot is a serious CLM. Flight Risk - Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning to leave the company or department soon. 404 - Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found" "Don't bother asking him... he's 404, man." Ohnosecond - That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake. Percussive Maintenance - The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again. Prairie Dogging - When someone yells or drops something loudly in a "cube farm" (an office full of cubicles) and everyone's head pops up over the walls to see what's going on. Umfriend - A sexual relation of dubious standing or a concealed intimate relationship, as in "This is Jill, my... um... friend."