To: Mike Johnston who wrote (28627 ) 3/25/2005 1:06:24 AM From: Haim R. Branisteanu Respond to of 306849 Dirty tricks came to RE sales Ashes and Diamonds The Bitch is constantly scheming about ways to increase her cash flow that don't include donning a green Starbucks apron. So when she learned about a drawing for a multicarat stone of the "dog's best friend" variety this past week, she was quick to seize the opportunity. If about twenty VIPs had been a little more in tune with the Tarots, any one of them might be holding a piece of ice worth $50,000 in his or her paw. Yep, the prize was a diamond, the glittery birthstone of the cruelest month, which a certain few souls won then quickly lost in the maddest, March. The location of the giveaway was the doomed Howard Johnson motel on the north edge of downtown Miami. The occasion: the sales launch party for the soon-to-rise Marquis, 67 stories of luxury at 1100 Biscayne Blvd. Diamonds have made a really rich man of Lev Leviev, a Tel Aviv-based mining mogul whose company Africa Israel is the lead investor in the project -- his estimated net worth is about two billion dollars. Hence the door prize. With Marge Simpson gazing across the downtown darkness from the skyscraper a few blocks south, an announcer reached into a glass bowl stuffed with little strips of white paper. And the winner of the $50,000 diamond: "Melissa Garafalo." Melissa? Melissa? After several minutes passed, it was determined she was not present to win. David and Melanie Smallwood "won" next, but a few more minutes went by and neither appeared. "Gary Rosen and guest." Long pause. "Alina Vasquez." No screams. "Billy Bean." Silence. The Bitch jumped up on a chair to see if the former San Diego Padres slugger/gay apologist author of Going the Other Way stepped forward. He didn't. "Patricia Clark Parker." People grew impatient and began allowing ten seconds between names. "Five, four, three, two, one!" the crowd yelled. Brendan Fitzgerald, Felipo Martino, Joe Weiner, Jonathan Bennett, and several more, all winners, then sudden losers. Finally, after about fifteen minutes, luck stumbled upon Jhianny Massad, one of the brokers for the condo. Fireworks exploded to the east, honoring Jhianny and the Marquis, as the unlucky drifted across the old HoJo roof for another plastic glass of free booze, or down to wait for the valets to get their cars. miaminewtimes.com