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Politics : Should God be replaced? -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Sun Tzu who wrote (21514)	7/21/2005 8:16:11 AM
From: zonder	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 28931

I don't find "unreasonable" an arrangement between the mother and father whereby the woman agrees to give birth to the kid although she has no interest of having a baby herself. I just find it very unlikely, for the reasons I stated. Do you believe that most women think the father has no rights or say about the unborn? I can't speak for "most women", only for myself, and to a lesser degree, the women I have known and exchanged thoughts with on this subject. And what I can say is that while of course the father has a "say" about the unborn, the ultimate decision belongs to the woman, who might or might not be willing and/or ready to go through the whole ordeal. In pretty much all developed countries on earth, the legal system recognizes that this decision lies with the woman, and allows free and unrestricted access to abortion in a safe and clinical environment. There is a very good reason for this - a woman who wants to end her pregnancy will do pretty much anything to this end. If abortion is illegal in her country and she cannot travel, she will find a backstreet "doctor" who will operate on her under dubious circumstances. Or she will take the matter in her own hands. So the choice is between a safe operation and a dangerous one. Nor is the decision for abortion (in all but one case I know of) on the basis of "I do not want to go through the headache of childbirth". No, the decision is generally on the basis of "I don't want to go through pregnancy and childbirth at this point in my life". As in, "I need to continue my college education" or "I want to focus on work for a couple of more years" or "When I have a kid, it will be with a man I love and trust". We all know pregnancy & childbirth is a very difficult period, but one we will one day go through. The question is not one of running away from it. What I am trying to say is that it is just not something a lot of women will go through just because a man wants to be a father. BTW, I thought most of throwing up was for a brief period in the beginning and the pains you talk of in the last two months. For most women, that "brief period" lasts for three full months. That is a lot of days of sheer misery. Some lucky women spend a full nine months throwing up from morning to nighttime (I know a couple of those) and end up in hospital being fed intraveneously. Pains I described occur pretty much throughout the pregnancy, although the last trimester (last three months) is definitely the worst. As I said in the previous post, there are far worse (and perpetual) consequences of having a child for a woman. These are risks women take for a baby they want. But they are not going to take those risks because men ask them to. [Although, of course, if the situation was reversed and women asked men to go through nine months of hell to give us a baby, we all know what the general response would be. In fact, if procreation of the human race depended on men going through the trouble of a nine-month period of pregnancy and then passing a small bowling ball from their tender parts, with a serious likelihood of lasting damage to their precious genitals, I dare say the human race may have died out a long time ago :-) ] I understand your viewpoint, and I realize the situation is kind of unfair to men who might actually want that child. [Although you have to admit that is a rare man who will want to raise a child on his own] Nonetheless, so many things in life are unfair to women, be it the balance of physical force, workplace discrimination, or even that endless pest called "menstruation", that I just cannot feel sorry for men whose only relative discomfort is to find in life a woman who will love them enough to bear their children.